Radical Living in a Comfortable World - A Blog by Seth Barnes

Take the afternoon off

Sun, 5 Feb 2012 00:00:00 GMT

One of the top regrets people (men especially) have before they die is "I wish I hadn't worked so hard."

I'm a hard worker and don't want that be a regret I take with me to my grave, so every now and then I take the afternoon off to do something fun. A couple of times a year I take the staff to the movies. In the spring, Karen and I will throw parties out on our lawn. And Lake Lanier is nearby - an afternoon of water sports can be a great way to get refreshed.

This past Friday I grabbed some of our apprentices and took off for the nearby mountains.

Hiking to Duke's Creek Falls: Emily, Amy, Jacinda, Heidi, Matt, Amy, Ryan, KK, & Leah.

At the falls, they posed for the requisite picture and tried to find my favorite tree in the world.

After the hike, I had three surprises for them. One was to get their favorite pastry at a German bakery.

The Alpine village of Helen is full of surprises.

I need to redefine how I look at productivity. Afternoons like this one help me properly align my life. I like the motto: "Work hard, play hard."

How's your work/play balance? When was the last time you took the afternoon off? What did you do?

Top 5 regrets of the dying

Fri, 3 Feb 2012 00:00:00 GMT

Saw this article in the Guardian.

There was no mention of more sex or bungee jumps. Bronnie Ware is an Australian nurse who spent several years caring for patients in the last 12 weeks of their lives. She recorded their dying epiphanies in a book called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.

Here are the top five regrets of the dying, as witnessed by Ware:

1. I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

"This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it."

2. I wish I hadn't worked so hard.

"This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children's youth and their partner's companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence."

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

"Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result."

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

"Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying."

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

"This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called 'comfort' of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again."

What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you set out to achieve or change before you die?

Defragging from a toxic environment

Thu, 2 Feb 2012 00:00:00 GMT

This past weekend I was at my daughter's home in downtown Atlanta. I was talking to her and a roommate about their toxic work environment.

"A lot of the people there do drugs and are pretty cynical. It's a rough crowd," my daughter said.

"So how do you protect yourself?" I asked.

"I've learned to protect my spirit. It's like I'm a flower and when they say hurtful things, I've learned to bunch up and let it not stick to me."

"What about your friends there; how do they respond?"

"Some of them have gotten pretty hardened by the experience. They've lost their tender spirit. They've become rough just to win the approval of others."

I mulled this over and compared their situation to a guy I knew who had a prison ministry. When he and his team would leave the prison, he'd line his people up and pray over them one at a time. He could sense if evil had slimed them and he felt it was his job to bless them and clean them up spiritually.

When we go into a toxic environment, whether that be a workplace or maybe our own dysfunctional home, our spirits can be bruised in ways that we shrug off. If that happens enough, we can become spiritually calloused or fragmented. We wall off parts of ourselves to keep them safe. But do that enough and the walls become part of your personality.

"Do you guys pray over one another when you get home?" I asked.

"No. That's a good idea, we should do that," her friend responded.

"I don't know how you stay spiritually tender if you don't. You guys need to defrag one another on a regular basis."

Of course it's easier said than done. In my own "Christian" workplace yesterday I was feeling beat up and exhausted. I had grown cynical and was in need of a good defragging. I fell into bed at day's end and I was thankful when Karen prayed for my bruised spirit before we drifted off to sleep.

How's the spiritual environment in your workplace? If you're feeling bruised, consider finding someone to pray over you. And if you can't find someone to de-slime you, consider whether or not what it's costing you is worth it.

Passion's not enough

Wed, 1 Feb 2012 00:00:00 GMT

Most passion is inert, unharnessed to a dream. We need passion, but it's not enough. Eventually passion needs to resolve itself into a dream.

And dreams alone are not enough. Dreams are good, but they are a dime a dozen. Lots of people dream of stopping human trafficking, but they won't commit to helping one trafficking victim.

Too many people with dreams feel self-conscious about expressing passion concerning those dreams.

What's rare is harnessing hard work and perseverance to one's passion and dream.

And rarer still are those willing to serve another man's dream in order to learn what they need to work on their own.

I love to hear about people's dreams. But what gets really me excited is a dreamer whose passion has carried him or her all the way to a place of commitment.

3 Questions:

Do you have a passion - something worth fighting for?
Has it blossomed into a dream worth working for?
Are you willing to serve someone else's dream so that you may become equipped to work on your own?

What season of life am I in?

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

I've watched young people struggle under the pressure of needing to perform. We all need pressure, but some of it is unnecessary, born of a people-pleasing spirit or a sense of inadequacy.

One of the best ways to relieve the stress of feeling inadequate is to change the expectations you're listening to. I've found it helpful for young people to look at life as having five seasons, roughly divided into decades. As you develop, your focus changes.

1. Season of development

In your first two decades of life you grow in every way. The focus is your growth. Just the process of developing requires a lot of energy. People mature at different rates - most obviously physically, but also emotionally, socially, spiritually and intellectually.

2. Learner

Your twenties are a season to press into a specific field and focus on developing a skill. Too many 20-somethings feel an urgency to accomplish a lot. They look at their peers and feel inadequate. My advice is apply yourself, but relax and focus more on getting good opportunities to learn. Apprenticeships are a great way to learn more about a field you're interested in.

3. Doer

In your thirties, you begin to get traction. You've learned enough to be able to make a difference in your chosen field. You use the skills you've acquired to get stuff done. If you're a manager, you're still learning your craft.

4. Leader

Your forties are a season of learning how to work more effectively with others. Though not everyone is a leader, everyone can influence others and some will rise to the top and help groups move toward goals. Many people will remain behind, stuck in the season of the doer, not able to master the nuance of accomplishing tasks through others.

5. Mentor

As you move into your fifties and beyond, age becomes an issue. You're more aware that "this isn't about me" and you look for opportunities to give back. Your greatest joy may come not in what you accomplish, but in how you're able to help others accomplish their goals as you mentor them.

Questions to ask in the season of the learner

1. What information or skills do I need to learn?

2. Who can help me learn?

3. How do I learn best?

4. How can I maximize my learning?

5. How will my learning connect to my purpose?

* * * * * * *

Where are you? Have you given much thought to what will help you make the transition to the next level?

What is a day worth?

Mon, 30 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

"Better is one day in your courts..." Psalm 84:10

Sunday was my day to spend with Emily at her new home in Atlanta.

We went to church together at Atlanta Christian Assembly. We organized a youth trip to Honduras afterward.

We walked around Atlanta and talked about our lives.

We went to the Brick Store and talked.

We ended the day at Eddie's Attic watching the Fairwell Drifters, a great bluegrass band.

It was a day well spent. It taught me the value of a day all over again. I love my kiddos. But I don't always show them that with my time. I'm glad I put my computer and phone and Daytimer away and just hung out with Emily for the day.

Where do you need to invest a day of your life?

Finding hope when life is a shambles

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

For 22 years we have prayed for the healing of a family member. And at this point, praying is a grind. Other folks pray for us more than I probably do. Please don't judge me, but mostly we just cope.

When pain is chronic, I think that's what most people do.

And yet we serve this God who insists on arousing hope in our spirits. The paradox of it all can be maddening. "Curse God and die," say the cynics. And we read crazy stories of people being radically healed through our teams around the world. Last week 30 or so were healed in a place where people go to die in India.

Last week I shared with the Adventures staff my story about going to Swaziland for the first time in 2004.

I knew it would be grim. The AIDS epidemic was in full swing. Karen, Seth Jr., Emily, Leah and I all went on this huge project. 900 participants ministering in 192 separate schools over two months.

As I prepared to go and began praying about the reality of the plague stalking that small country, I felt my spirit beginning to grieve with them. God took me to Lamentations 3 and I heard him say, "This is the story of the Swazi people."

It begins, "I am the man who has seen affliction" and for 20 verses, all you read is heart-wrenching hopelessness. You read words like:

darkness

              broken bones

    bitterness and hardship

imprisoned

      no communication

lost

mangled

a target for arrows

       a laughingstock

mocked

   broken t e e t h

trampled in the dust

             deprived of peace

wandering

bitterness and gall

And then on the heels of this misery Jeremiah makes an astounding statement in verse 21. He says, "I have hope."

What? What a crazy thing to say in the midst of all that misery. He goes on to say, "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

I don't know how Jeremiah can say that. Clearly it seemed as though God's compassions were failing in verses 1-20. So he was either nuts or there must have been something more to the picture. Somehow Jeremiah knew that God would come through for him.

As I read these verses and meditated, I found it strangely comforting to know that a man of God could see his homeland and people decimated and still find hope.

And so, I flew to Swaziland, knowing I'd find death, but also the possibility of hope.

The weeks passed and our teams carried a message of hope that changed the atmosphere of the country. Thousands committed their lives to Christ. Many more learned about AIDS and how to avoid contracting the HIV virus. Our time culminated in a celebration in the national stadium. People cheered and danced.

What is our reason for hope? It's the power of the Gospel. We're not deluded, we see it in actual changes in people.

It's a privilege to serve in places where hope keeps washing up on the shores of hopelessness.

What hopeless place have you lived in? Can you dare to pray a hopeful prayer? If you struggle to do so, know that there are many others of us that live that way too.

Free from religion

Thu, 26 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

"Religion" has become a bad word. In a society that puts a premium on authenticity, it has come to mean "pre-planned." In a culture that prizes reality, it has connotations of stiff formality.

"Religion" has become a bad brand. Barna's stats tell us that 2 million young people a year are fleeing the organized church.

I wonder who will be left.

Maybe you sniffed it out in college - this pre-fab spirituality. Somebody telling you how you were going to connect with God in a bulletin.

Call someone "religious" and you're really saying "you do stuff that I find strange." Maybe you're saying, "Your religion puts God in a box so small, I don't fit in the picture."

For all of you reading this who have a problem with religion, the good news is that Jesus had a problem with it too. He didn't like the ways that religion had been used to keep people from God and fought against it. Just as he fights to set people free from religion today.

Jesus didn't come to make us comfortable, but to make us dangerous. He wanted to move people from the activity of sin-maintenance and into relationship.

Sometimes those who make their living in some religious establishment will declare that Jesus no longer heals. They haven't seen him heal, so they organize their theology around their lack of experience. It was the same in Jesus' day. He didn't do many miracles around those with small, religious God boxes.*

It's not that he doesn't do miracles, it's just that he's left the building. Religion can cease to be about worship and become an effort to define and control God. It may resonate with the comfortable, but those not enmeshed in the system of rules know better.

Are you tired of religion? Are you free from religion? Today is a good day to get out of religion and into relationship.

* Mark 6

How I connect the body

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

We need each other in the worst way. We were hardwired for connection.

In this age of networks and super specialization, we have more connecting opportunities than ever before. Facebook and Linked In are power networking tools.

But the body of Christ is sadly disconnected. Evangelists are disconnected from pastors, who are disconnected from prophets, etc.

There's something in me that loves to connect people to one another and to God's dreams. Sometimes the connections seem to come together supernaturally.

Once I was getting off a plane from Hong Kong. I was exhausted and oblivious of my surroundings. I needed to connect with Jacques, who directed our school in Mexico. Unbeknown to me, he was going to be in Georgia for a day.

As Karen and I walked down the concourse toward baggage claim, she looked at me incredulously.

"What are you looking at me that way for?" I asked.

"Do you realize that Jacques is walking along next to you and neither of you know it?" She responded.

Sure enough, to my left, there was Jacques walking next to me, as oblivious of me as I was of him. We laughed in shock, stopped, and gave each other a hug and then began to catch up with one another.

Multiple times like that on planes and in airports I've run into friends, old classmates, disciples, and associates. I figure God knows I need to connect with them and sets it up so I do so.

Maybe it shouldn't have to be so random - we seem to live in a valley of disconnected dry bones. And perhaps most sadly of all, we're disconnected from widows and orphans - the poor in spirit Jesus has blessed and built his true religion around.

I love to connect people to God's widows and orphans. I love to find out a person's dream and ask, "If you could talk to anyone who could help you get to your dream, who would it be?" Oftentimes I know someone who knows that person. We can usually get to them with just a phone call or two.

When I do that in front of a group of people, it can seem like some kind of a cheap magic trick. But I think it's just God's anointing at work.

Do you struggle to make connections or does it come naturally for you? Do you know someone who has this kind of networker anointing? Perhaps they can help you get closer to your dream if you ask them.

Too fast for needy people

Tue, 24 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

I awoke from a dream at 3:30 a.m. In the dream I was flying in a small plane. We were descending rapidly to a grassy landing strip somewhere in a place that seemed remote.

The pilot looked like he was going to overshoot the landing strip, but brought the plane down fast and hard.

Outside the plane, we found the poverty to be great.

The people seemed odd, and I realized, it was a land of special needs people. They'd been left behind - forgotten by society. We weren't much help to them.

I awoke and lay there. Reflecting, I realized that's how we tend to view those with special needs. We leave them behind. We put them out of sight, out of mind. Like our old people.

If I enter their world I tend to do so fast and hard. Landing and taking off suddenly.

And I realized, that's how we too often do short-term missions as well. We come in fast and hard in a needy place. Going there is a good idea, but the time spent may well need more consideration.

I've decided the dream may be from God.

What do you think?

Powerful connections

Mon, 23 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

While the average person has 150 acquaintances and 130 Facebook friends, they have just two close friends.

According to the Discovery Channel's report, one in four people have no one to talk to at all. Most people have 50% fewer close friends than 20 years ago.

My conclusion: Ezekiel's valley of dry bones* is a reality in America today.

Jesus calls the church his "body" and it's a great metaphor. As Paul describes it, we're members of the body of Christ - "a unit, though it is made up of many parts."

The problem is, we're disconnected. My function may work just fine, but it too often works in isolation from the rest of the body.

This happens in part because of the busy, isolated way we live that doesn't translate well to community living. We're descended from cowboys and pioneers and rebels. They came here running from connection - the connection to the Crown felt so strong it was strangling their spirit.

We see a picture of a connected body in the Acts 2 church. The church members gladly shared all they had with one another. Their connection became an amazing form of empowerment.

We often think of the miraculous works of the Holy Spirit as the engine that powered the explosive growth of the early church. But the cohesiveness of their community was a secret weapon - it must have made them an unstoppable force.

An arm can lift things, but disconnected from a shoulder, it is ineffectual. Jesus prayed for this connection for his disciples before dying.** We long for it. It's what we so often miss on Sunday mornings. It's why young people are leaving the church by the millions. It's what God wants to give us.

How many deep connections do you have in your life? Do you want more? What can you do to get them?

* Ezekiel 37

** John 17

Words have power

Fri, 20 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

Words have power. God spoke the world into being. We speak and things happen. Wars start. Life happens.

Say the words, "I love you," and your life may change. Say "I'll go," and you may find yourself making a difference somewhere in the world.

Michael Perez's words have power. His spoken word is a meditation on the magic of words. What words are you speaking? Are they creating life?

The terrifying call of God

Thu, 19 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

In 2004 I ran across Kari Miller. A teacher in Minnesota, she had sponsored a Ugandan child through World Vision. And that one act was the first in a long series of steps of obedience that landed her as a long-term missionary. She describes what it felt like.

Only God can ask you to join him in his work...to journey somewhere else to find him.

God will never do more than whisper - he is so gentle with us. I heard the same whispers about six years ago. Every time I would lay my head down at night, I would hear them.

I asked so many people to either tell me that they were really God speaking to me or to tell me that I was crazy to believe some quiet voice I only heard at night. In the end, my spirit just couldn't not go...I was so uncomfortable in my comfortable life.

So, I did something that everyone thought was crazy. I sold my home, I sold my car, I took a leave of absence from work, I gave away my stuff I had spent 10 year accumulating and....

I left for Uganda knowing only one Ugandan family and having nothing prepared to do.

Just like the rich young ruler, Jesus made me an offer...leave it and come. The thing is, I had to leave before I could know the outcome. God does not hand you a five year business plan. You walk only a step ahead.

It is terrifying and full of unknowns. You dive off a cliff and fall weightless through the air with only the hope that God will in fact catch you before you hit the ground. That is the chance I took. That is the chance God offers people. It is why many are called but only few will come.

When I first came to Uganda I had no idea what I was here for...just to love people that is all I knew. After about a month, God introduced me to Joyce, a widow, and after that I started the Dorcas Widows Fund.*

If you decide to follow what he is saying, it will cause you pain, disappointment and despair. Journeys always do, but in the end you will find boundless joy, unbelievable fulfillment and bottomless love.

You see our savior loves us too much to lie to us. He told us directly that the journey would be hard.

But the bigger promise is that he will NEVER leave us or forsake us. When battles come he will fight for us. When we are lonely he will love us. We will get all of him and he will get all of us and together we will love the ones he loves the most. No one and nothing else in this world will promise you that. It is worth it.

* Read more about Kari's journey of leaving it all and gaining her soul on her blog site.

Differences between short and long-term teams

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

I love discipleship. And that's why I love short-term mission (STM) teams. Nothing helps mold a young disciple like an STM experience. Jesus used them to shape his disciples and I believe intends for us to do the same.

STM teams are a discipleship tool whose focus is the participants. In contrast, long-term missionary teams exist to help their members reach out to the field. People fall in love with missions on an STM that changes their life, but most are ill-equipped to go long-term. If they do go, they need a lot of preparation to be effective.

At Adventures, we're learning how to send long-term teams that are as good as our short-term teams.

A lot of our graduating racers want to go to the field on their own. But the sad fact is, most of them will not make it very long. They go because they want to help heal the pain they've seen on the field. But without the support systems to help them, they'll struggle to stick it out.

It helps those who would go long-term or those who would send them to know what the differences are between short-term and long-term teams.

Short-term Teams

Project-based

Participant-centric

Time-bounded

Partner-dependent

Leader led

Cultural outsiders

Long-Term Teams

Relationship-based

Field-centric

Open-ended

Incarnational

Multiple leaders

Both long-term and short-term teams share some requirements if they are to be effective.

Requirements

Listen to God

Wield spiritual authority

Team skills

Heart for target group (in the host country)

The long-termers need some additional skill sets if they are to be successful: Culture assimilation skills, an ability to ask questions, an ability to partner, and a strong spiritual foundation for starters.

If you've been convicted to help meet the needs you've seen on an STM, I hope that you're considering how to go back and make a difference. The world needs the hope you can provide.

And if you do, you may want to ask yourself if you've got what it takes. I suggest you begin by finding a good sending team that will help you make the switch in focus from short-term to long-term.

My 5 mistakes sending missionaries

Tue, 17 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

For 24 years I've been sending people on short-term missions (STMs) that challenge them to live the kind of life God dreams for them. STMs are great discipleship tools.

This year at Adventures, we'll send out our 100,000th person on an STM. Our goal is for our STMs to activate participants to one day go and bring the hope they have to those that have none in some dark place in the world.

But moving from a short-term to a long-term focus requires a different set of tools. While Jesus sent all his disciples out on STMs (Luke 10), only a few were called to cross-cultural missions (in Acts). This may be one reason why he asked his disciples to go only to their own countrymen.

In my eagerness, I've made mistakes in sending people out for the long-term. Here are five:

1. Not enough screening. To be an effective long-term missionary, you've got to go as a learner. You learn the culture, the language and you learn people's stories. To do this, you need a mindset and you need skills.

Sometimes in my enthusiasm to help, I've not spent enough time asking if candidates to go long-term had the mindset and skills they needed.

2. Not enough of a team. While some can make it on their own, most effective missionaries go as a team. Every day they have to expend emotional energy to look more like the culture they're in than the culture of their home country. It's the same kind of assignment Jesus had in the incarnation. Every day they are asked to exchange the things that they find normal and comfortable for a set of behaviors that are new and strange. They need a team's encouragement to be able to make it. A team gives them the reference point to acclimate organically.

Team unity is essential if the team is to strike the right blend of encouragement and guidance for its members to choose into the transformation process day after day.

3. Not enough leadership. Good teams need good servant leadership. Leadership is especially important on the front end of a team's time. The leader helps maintain team safety and unity and helps shape the team's cultural assimilation process. These are her primary assignments. If the team can't be a safe place and unity maintained, then its members will not have the emotional reserves to perform the basic missionary task of assimilating the culture.

4. Not enough preparation. In my eagerness to get teams to the field, I've sent them without the skills they needed to be successful. While we're taking steps to avoid this in the future, we're having to go back and retro-fit teams with the skills they needed: conflict resolution, cross-cultural assimilation, spiritual warfare, team-building, and self-leadership.

5. Not enough support. It takes a strong sending team to help sustain a long-term missionary. The sending team prays for them, helps them raise support, and communicates with them on the field. Too many missionaries neglect this part of the process and have inadequate covering when the pressure of life on the field inevitably comes.

Recently we have developed a model of a sending team that incorporates both Adventures staff and outside volunteers. Unfortunately, some of our earlier teams did not have a good sending team. We're having to go back and help them recruit their sending teams.

What book should I write?

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

Now that I'm done writing the book Kingdom Journeys, it's time for another writing project.

The good news is that I've started seven other books. The bad news is that I haven't finished them. The question is, which of the following should I focus on and finish? Which would you be most interested in? Why?

Revolution of the Broken Heart - stories of those whose hearts have been broken by the poor

Three Roles of a Leader - about how I coach leaders to lead

The Secret of Abundant Living - a devotional based on Isaiah 58

Risk-Based Discipling - how I disciple people

Mistaken Identity - issues young people wrestle with as they dismantle the false self

Paradoxes of Faith - Issues that contain spiritual mystery

The Warrior's Journal: Leader Edition - The Warrior's Journal is a nine week discipleship study. It needs a leader's edition.

An atheist, an agnostic, a seeker & me

Sat, 14 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

Yesterday on the Delta flight from Fort Lauderdale to Atlanta as we waited to taxi, the flight attendant wanted to know if the three of us in exit row seats knew how to open the emergency door. She offered a free drink if we knew where the sliding ramp was stowed.

"In the compartment in the door right there," I offered and continued, "Pulling that out would be a piece of cake compared to what my sister experienced when on her flight to Kenya. A crazy man attacked the pilot and sent their 747 into a power dive. If two pro athletes sitting in first class hadn't pulled him off, the plane would have crashed."

"Was he a terrorist?" Asked the agnostic guy next to me.

"No, just crazy," I answered. And we launched into a discussion about terrorists, Iraq, Iran, and religion.

The atheist woman next to him said, "I was raised by parents who were Catholic and Protestant in Northern Ireland. I saw what religion can do."

"Religion is at the center of all wars," said the agnostic. "I was raised by nuns who once beat me in front of my parents. And we know the Pope protects child-abusing priests.'

By now the flight attendant was in the jump seat opposite us as we hurtled down the runway for takeoff. "I was raised Catholic. I recently visited a nondenominational church where they serve coffee instead of wine," she offered.

"Those people are just interested in converting you. They haven't got a clue. I'm a cynic." said the agnostic.

Of course I was interested in converting all three of them, but I could see I needed to join them in their objections if I was going to have any credibility. "Yeah, I think if Jesus were to come back, he'd probably be turning over tables in a lot of the churches he might go to," I said.

"I read the book The Shack, and that was helpful," said the flight attendant. "God was portrayed as a black woman. Not at all what I expected."

"People make up stuff about God because they have to be able to explain things," countered the agnostic.

"They can't explain things. God doesn't exist," said the atheist.

"How do you explain people who die and see God and then come back?" I asked.

"I died and came back and didn't see God," she responded.

"They aren't technically dead," said the agnostic, who it turns out, practices medicine.

"Have you watched that TV show about the people who've had those kinds of experiences?" Asked the flight attendant.

"There's no scientific basis for God," said the agnostic. "The Bible is a bunch of contradictory opinions of people written long after Jesus died."

"Actually, John wrote his gospel about 90 AD." I countered. "There is far more textual and archeological proof for the Bible than any ancient manuscript. Have you heard of Lee Strobel's book? He was an investigative reporter who came to faith by looking at the facts."

Nobody had heard of him.

I continued, "The irony is that we discount questions about God because of our experience with people who claim to represent him. People use religion to meet their own needs for control."

By now the flight attendant was up and serving drinks. The conversation continued for most of the flight. Once we landed, I gave the agnostic my card. Maybe he'll read this blog and we'll continue the conversation one day.

I left the plane thinking, "We Christians have too many conversations with ourselves. We need more conversations like that one."

When was the last time you had a conversation that challenged you to really think?

Living an exhilarating life

Fri, 13 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

It's a week of endings and beginnings. It started by ending the World Race for 100 racers. And we ended the week today with 130 racers being launched to the field in Fort Lauderdale.

What a joy it is to watch young people find their voice and their place in the world. Joy wanted to get an M.A. in social work, buy instead decided to join Shannon in joining Uche in South Sudan.

For example, Roberto, Rachel, Tabi from our T-squad feel led to minister in Cambodia. And Pei Yee, Katherine and Sarah decided to join Teri on her traveling team.

The week was exhilarating and exhausting. A lot of things are that way. Football seasons begin with fanfare and finish with a tide of injuries.

The Civil War began with the Battle of Bull Run. People came out to watch it like you might watch a parade. Of course the war ended in exhaustion.

Life itself can be that way, beginning with the exhilaration of a birth and, when our bodies wear out, winding down in exhaustion. It's not a bad cycle. I want to be used up when I go - the tread wearing out on my tires.

Too often, though, I see people feeling perpetually exhausted. Rode hard and hung up wet. It's normal to feel tired, but to be perpetually wrung out is no way to live.

Better to seek a life rhythm that feels more natural. Yes, we need to rest, but more of us may also need to go looking for the experiences that exhilarate us. Usually they involve risk. Something that gets the adrenalin pumping.

Putting those racers on planes to go around the world does that for me. Along the way I know that they're going to come alive and bring the kingdom. What does it for you?

Hope that amazes the hopeless

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

Stephanie May saw God bring hope the most hopeless place in the world in India. Ironically, it's called the Home of Hope. It's a a shelter where homeless women go to die. She tells the story of how God met them there below.

"As we walked in, we were greeted by hundreds of women with various diseases, deformities and mental illnesses - literally in every stage on the road towards death. The air reeked of decay.

Dirty, partially bandaged, and laying in the fetal position on the cement... the ground was littered with women- there was no dignity involved, and certainly no hope.

A few of our team members had been there a few days before just to scope it out. They said that one woman, with a clear mental disease, was screaming and hitting herself in the face as hard as she could... over and over. The only word they could utter as they came home dazed and traumatized was 'horrific.'

With only one foot inside the gate I knew without a doubt that it was the most horrible place I'd seen in my entire life. My worst expectations had been exceeded with flying colors.

With all the women surrounding us on the floor, we started out by singing a few songs and doing a little skit. Then with the help of our rudimentary translator, we told the women that we were going to pray for them.

Without even a moment of planning, we split up on different sides of the room and got into small groups. Women swarmed us, complaining of back pain, joint pain, lack of circulation, dizziness, coughs, chest pain, and foot pain. One woman was practically carried into the room, barely able to walk.

I began praying so quickly and with such fervor, I didn't have time to even look up to see what everyone else was doing.

One by one, we prayed for the women, sometimes two or three times, kneeling in front of them, laying our hands on whatever part of their body was aching. Then we'd stand up, and ask them how they were feeling.

And then the moment we'd been waiting for... we'd get the miraculous head bobble. The one that goes from side to side (what looks to Americans like a VERY unsure 'maybe' but here means an emphatic yes- it's so confusing.) We'd quickly grab the arm of the translator to confirm. Are they feeling better? Is the pain gone? Completely? REALLY!? OH MY GOSH!!!!!

And one after another, she confirmed that the pain was in fact ACTUALLY gone. The women would smile at us, thank us, and then walk away, flexing, twisting, or stretching whatever had just been healed in amazement.

One woman complained of a lack of circulation in her hands, and as we prayed for her hands, we legitimately FELT the warm blood begin to pump through her fingers.

One woman came to us with back pain, leg pain, dizziness, and a wicked cough that was causing her intense chest pain. After we prayed for her, she began twisting from side to side and taking the BIGGES

T breaths, rising up to her tippy toes, to get more air into her newly freed lungs. (I have that on video- stay tuned.)

It was incredible.

For over an hour, I'd lift my head up every few minutes to catch a strain or a glance of what was going on around the room. I'd hear groups of girls singing over women, letting their worship wash over them in healing, I'd catch the boldest prayers being said with fervor and ferocity. "Pain, LEAVE this body in the name of Jesus!"

I was able to get over to the group that was praying for the woman who couldn't walk... and I made it just in time (camera in hand), to watch her take her first steps... unsure at first... but growing in strength and confidence with each step.

Amazing doesn't even begin to cover it.

As we walked out of the Home of Hope, we walked with even more confidence than before... knowing that through us, God had just healed over 30 women."

Opportunities to change the world

Mon, 9 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

One hundred racers just returned from spending a year around the world. We're together here in Gainesville for a week. We've invited twenty other organizations in to speak to them about their opportunities today.

The racers have glimpsed the kingdom and can't go back to a system focused around shallow values. They've tasted how exciting life can be and now they're trying to figure out how to answer the question, "What's next?" They're not OK with the injustices they've seen.

Yesterday Andrew Shearman told them, "All you need is your passport and a ticket." His point was to encourage them to get in motion. I heard that one of the racers went out afterward and booked a ticket to Thailand.

We prayed for Clinton White, the A squad leader, leaving for a long-term assignment to Ukraine.

I talked to Annie Walker, who has opened a cake-cooking business, and Anna Notario, who started Bananarchy.

I'm hoping some of them will go to South Sudan where Uche has got hundreds of young people he needs help discipling.

I'm hoping that a few will join Adventures teams that are headed long-term to Thailand, Swaziland, Cambodia, Ireland, and India.

I'll be speaking twice and talking one-on-one with about 20 of them. It's a thrill connecting them to people who have answers to their questions.

If you were me, what would you say to them?

What do you do with your brokenness?

Fri, 6 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

One of the great struggles we all face is to come to the place where we can recognize our brokenness and be OK with it. I was 31 when that happened for me. Man, was it hard to go through.

But I'm one of the lucky ones.

A lot of older people still have not come to the place where they can own their brokenness. They live in prisons of selfishness. Their addictions and defensiveness keep them from facing the truth that would set them free.

Over the holidays I read Brennan Manning's memoir, All is Grace. In it he admits to lying for much of his life. He bravely discusses his alcoholism and its impact. He said it's called "the liar's disease." It's amazing that this man who so many have looked up to has struggled so to be honest about his brokenness.

Manning says, "Sin and forgiveness and falling and getting back up and losing the pearl of great price in the couch cushions but then finding it again, and again, and again? Those are the stumbling steps to becoming Real, the only script that's really worth following in this world."

Yet it's so hard to embrace your own brokenness. To admit it and even talk openly about it.

When Jesus came to set the captive free, that's all of us who have kept our brokenness locked up in some secret place, never allowing anyone to see it or touch it. He wants to set us free to look at reality.

All the abusive dads and neurotic moms. All the lonely hearts who for too long have believed lies about ourselves.

"I'm not good enough." "I'm ugly." "I'm average." "I deserve this mess I live in." "I'll never escape this addiction to pornography." "I'll never be married." On and on go the lies.

The truth is, we're all broken and we need to embrace our brokenness instead of locking it away. Only then are we able to reach out and help others embrace their brokenness as well.

It's the basis of ministry. I love what Louie Giglio said at the recently completed Passion Conference: ""Brokenness is the bow from which God launches the arrows of healing."

Do you want to be used of God? It begins with your own places of pain. Let him touch them. Let others in where you've kept them out. The freedom on the other side is amazing.

"Out of brokenness, fearlessness," Giglio said. "The only thing I'm afraid of is living an insignificant life."

What I'll say to our racers

Thu, 5 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

Tomorrow night Karen and I are going to throw a party that we've been planning for almost a year. We've been coaches to 40 World Racers who just completed their round-the-world circuit.

The alarm sounded at 6:30 this morning so Karen could get up and make more cakes, appetizers, and assorted delicacies of the feast we'll be serving them. The house smells great.

We're proud of our racers. They've made a difference in hundreds of lives this past year. Along the way, they've gotten sick and gone through hardships. We're eager to hug them and offer them some advice about the next stage. Here's some of what I'll share with them:

"T squad - welcome back. Already you're seeing how hard this returning home thing can be. Karen and I empathize. Both Talia and Seth Jr. both struggled when they came back.

The World Race is a year-long rite of initiation into the kingdom. It's a pilgrimage of the soul, a calling out to greatness. You and others before you have returned home having lived a counter-cultural reality. You realize "It's not all about me. I don't need to buy stuff to be happy. I find myself in community. I can make a difference."

The shorthand for this reality is something Jesus calls "the kingdom."   But there's a big difference between having glimpsed the kingdom and figuring out how to live in it.

The problem is that while you may have changed, your world and all the relationships in it didn't. You may have looked behind the curtain to see that the Great and Powerful Oz is just a little man pulling levers, but everyone else may still be caught up in the illusion. You may have been wrecked for the ordinary, but that doesn't make you a radical, it just makes you weird.

The question is, how then do you navigate this next phase? How do you change the world when your world so evidently doesn't want to change?

  If the World Race teaches you anything, it teaches you that you need community. You need to be around people who give you the space and encouragement you need to become the best version of you.

I want to offer you a warning so that you protect yourselves: If your re-entry is only a return to roots and relationships, if the lessons of community life remain in your rear view mirror, then you can probably expect a slow attrition of life followed by a season of cynicism.  

When Jesus left his disciples, they didn't disperse. They stayed together and prayed. In the hotbed of community, revolution was born. In the atmosphere of prayer, the fires of kingdom passion were stoked. Returning racers need to hear the "amen" of brothers and sisters who have chosen the narrow path of life in the kingdom.  

This next phase of life you're going through is a practical season where the high, holy poetry of the soul picks up a dish rag and is confronted with messy spirituality. We're not allowed to build booths on the Mount of Transfiguration. We have to return to a land where checkbooks need balancing and cars need oil changes.

  It's a jolting transition to move back into a place where people inwardly sneer at your stories of walking on water. The life of faith and dependence is so very hard to live in a land that celebrates independence.   You need a sounding board to move beyond the combustion chamber of your thought life.  

You may find yourself thinking thoughts like, 'In Malawi the brothers had so little, but loved so much. Here I don't even get greeted after being away from church for a year. What should I think? How do I do this?'

If Jesus took three years with his disciples, it's realistic to think you're going to need another two years to keep exploring kingdom reality in a way that leads you further down the path that Jesus walked.

Don't default to somebody else's dream for your life. Go apprentice with someone who will continue to pour into you and your dream as you live in community. The world is waiting for what God wants to reveal as you continue to come fully alive."

The Purpose-Driven Death

Wed, 4 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

I had coffee with Steve Moore, Director of Missions Exchange, yesterday morning. We talked for about half an hour and then his phone rang. He apologized and took the call.

When he finished, I asked, "Is everything OK?"

"No, it's not," Steve said. "Last night my operations guy died of a massive heart attack."

"I'm so sorry. What was his name?" I asked.

When he responded, "David Mays," my heart fell.

David was a long distance acquaintance who for years has been sending me weekly book summaries for free. He has been a missions mobilizer par-excellence. He and his wife Marcy are heroes of the faith, impacting thousands for the kingdom. David was 68 and in great shape.

Just two days earlier, David had sent me a book summary* with the following section in it. How well it described his life and death:

The Purpose-Driven Death
Choosing to live against the world for the world can be downright deadly.

When faced with the world's intense pressure, we'll give in and go along unless we ... have a compelling vision..., the same vision that compelled Jesus. We need to be aware, as he was, of what God is working to achieve, the direction God is taking.

Redemption is God's arrangement to reverse the curse of sin and to renew all things--to restore creation, not destroy it. God is on a mission to reclaim and replenish his corrupted territory, redirecting it back to himself and thereby 'making all things new' (Revelation 21:5).

God promises nothing short of total cosmic renewal.

--------------------------------------

I for one will greatly miss David and his ministry. He was a wonderful encouragement to me and a huge blessing to so many of us who follow Jesus.

* See this one by Tullian Tchivijian here.

Where are you anchored?

Tue, 3 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

A lot of pundits are saying that 2012 is a pivotal year. Around the world there is plenty to get you worrying. I find myself tempted to worry every day.

Pick your reason: The European debt crisis keeps getting worse. Our own debt levels are unsupportable. Iran is close to developing nuclear warheads. The Arab street may open the door for radical elements in the middle east. Etc.

This article compares 2012 to 1932. Read it and your worry level will increase.

The alternative for those of us who are trying to follow Jesus is to recognize that when worry levels increase, people are going to be looking for the one thing we have to offer them - hope.

When things are going smoothly, we, as Robert Bork said, "slouch toward Gomorrah." We become frogs in the kettle, slowly boiled alive by a toxic culture that sneers at what we call hope.

People will anchor their souls to whatever feels secure: a good job, a nice home, or a 401k. But put that stuff at risk and they'll look for something that looks more solid. Hebrews 6:19 says, "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul." It's the hope that Jesus does in fact love of us and have a plan for our lives. Nothing touches us that hasn't first past through his hands.

When our anchors are beginning to scrape along the sea bottom, we look around for other anchors that are holding against life's storms. And for those of us anchored against this hope, it's a cause for optimism. We have an opportunity.

Of course, if it's not working for us, if we're just as worried about what 2012 will bring as our neighbor is, then maybe we should take a fresh look at what we're anchoring against.

Where have you lodged your anchor? What gives you hope?

Photo by Giorgio Montersino

Watching God heal

Mon, 2 Jan 2012 00:00:00 GMT

As we enter 2012, isn't time we recharged our faith?

We know we serve a powerful God, but maybe we haven't seen his power lately.

Maybe you're like Karen and I, waiting 20+ years for the healing of a daughter that hasn't happened yet. We get exhausted praying and we need stories like Fea's to recharge our faith.

As Kristen Aperfine tells it, Fea had never walked or talked. But last week as God showed them how to pray, they watched him heal her:

Fea was found in a trash bag in the middle of a field when she was only a couple of weeks old; she is now 3. She has cerebral palsy because she was deprived of air for who knows how long.

She is constantly drooling and can't form any words. She has little to no control over her bodily functions. She can barely hold her head up, her arms are constantly folded in toward her body and her hands stay clenched in a fist; she doesn't have control over her fingers.

One of her legs is about 5 inches longer than the other one, her feet are turned over in a way and she is not able to put her feet flat on the ground.

We knew that because of our faith God would heal her. She is His, she is His child, she is His daughter, His bride, His beloved. He gave her a voice and He wants her to use it! He wants her to be able to run, jump, skip, play with the other kids.

We brought her into the house where the volunteers live. We began to pray over her. Prayed for healing, for strength. It was so encouraging because I would be hearing a word from the Lord and then someone else would be getting the same word. It was like God kept confirming,

"See Kristen, I am speaking to you, you ARE hearing MY VOICE, continue to listen"

We all had our eyes closed praying to God and then he just told me:

"You are asking for a miracle, yet you close your eyes, OPEN your EYES and WATCH me work! Believe that you are going to SEE it Happen!"

With this we all opened our eyes we waited knowing that God was going to show us something, we were going to watch Him work. And with that we saw that leg that was about 5 inches shorter than the other GROW until it was the length of the longer one! PRAISE THE LORD!

Side note: The whole time we had been praying Fea had not drooled one time! Her usual never ending pool of drool was completely dry.

The praying continued. Soon she began saying our names! This child had NEVER spoken a single word in her whole LIFE! There was a carpet on the floor (it had animals on it), she began pointing to the animals and saying what they were... "Elephant, Lion, Giraffe" What! She knows animal names!!

Her arm muscles began to loosen and little by little they fell to her side. Her fingers became unclenched and she began grabbing things around her.
We wanted her to WALK. We wanted her to RUN! Prayer prayer prayer. And then God said:

"Why are you waiting to see some drastic transformation in her body before you let her try? You say you have the faith that I have healed her, yet you aren't letting her up to actually try and walk. If you truly believe she is healed then have her WALK, give her room to WALK. You are waiting to see before you actually believe! Believe she is HEALED! Believe it enough to TEST IT!"

Moment of truth. We all backed away from her. She had NEVER walked before. She can barely crawl. She was on her knees hobbling from one person to the next, trying to grab hold of her. She was going from person to person trying to get someone to hold her.

And then it dawned on me. What would I feel like if I had never walked, never talked, never crawled, never been able to do anything in my short life and these strange women were proclaiming things over me and telling me that I can walk! Would I believe them? Probably not.

Then I realized she needed truth spoken into her. I looked in her eyes and began telling her YOU ARE LOVED, You are Gods DAUGHER, You are BELOVED, You have an INHERITANCE in heaven, He wants you to WALK, He wants you to SPEAK, he has a plan for YOU, you have a STORY to tell! Over an over! Do you know you can walk Fea? Do you know God Loves you? Do you know Jesus DIED for YOU!

She lifted her arms, looked to the sky and said "Amen!"

It was time to take her outside. God wanted us to TEACH her how to walk. Standing behind her, I barely touched her with my fingertips. The kind of trick your dad plays on you when you learn how to ride a bike, you think he is holding on but really he has already let go and you are riding on your own. She started with little steps, slow and cautious. Then little by little it got faster. Her little steps became a run. I was still afraid to let completely go of her. I didn't want her to fall on her face. Again the Lord calmed my nerves.
"Kristen, let her go. Do you believe she is really walking? 'yes' Then let her walk, let her run' 'but what if she falls?' 'Did you fall when you learned to walk? She will be OK, She will get up and she will walk again. Even if she falls it doesn't mean she is not healed" 'ok God, ok, you have her.'

PRAISE THE LORD! That little girl was a moving like never before. I looked at her "FEA Jesus healed you!! Jesus LOVES YOU!" She started jumping up and down and screaming sweet praises.

Two of her orphanage brothers that had watched her grow up came over and were in awe! "How, what, when, Fea? Did Jesus do that?" One boy told the other "See I told you God was real!" They then asked "Does God only do miracles at night?" sweet sweet boys! They both accepted Christ in that moment!

Fea's story will be told all over the world! And every single day she will continue to get stronger and stronger. Praise God for his daughter!

Interpreting a nightmare

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Shannon Morgan (a WR alumnus) had a dream last year that she felt like God gave her. She wrote me about it. It spoke to me of the millions of people around the world who are in pain. They are invisible to us and mute, without voices. Who will care for them?

The dream is so disturbing that I guess it's easier to set it aside. But it came back to me today and I had the thought, "maybe this is something that represents God's heart about those who are voiceless and in great pain." A lot of people are living lives like the people in Shannon's dream. Here it is.

In this dream we were in a white church van. Outside the van was a leper colony. People were covered in sheer gauze, wrapped like mummies and destroyed burn victims. Those who had discernible faces were ruined physically. Most were missing limbs, and ALL were missing tongues and could only weakly, but persistently, moan. With what little strength they had, they were reaching for us, moaning. They were so weak they could barely reach or move, but they were all trying.

At this point all I could feel was deep terror. The scene was horrific and I was scared as they reached, near-dead, for me. I remember being glad for the van because they couldn't reach us.

Then, to something deeper than horror, I saw the most disturbing image. Standing in the middle of all these diseased people was an African woman. Her body was charred completely, no flesh visible at all. She was blackened to a point that she looked like a piece of burned food. She resembled a skeleton more than anything, no eyes, no teeth, no fingers, no facial features. Her mouth was hanging open like a skeleton might. She held a baby that was in identical condition to her, if not worse.

Terrifyingly, though, she moved. Her movement was extremely slower than even the lepers. You had to concentrate almost to see the movement. They were clearly dead, devoid of life long, long ago. Yet, somehow, an echo of life remained to the point that she was moving. She was crumbling as she reached out the last of her strength, strength impossible to be in her burnt body. She reached her dead baby out to me.

My heart broke. It was so devastating, as if in her not-even-living condition she was still trying to save her not-even-living child. That broke my heart the most, as if she wasn't even aware of the death of her condition, but still had hope to be saved.

This was my dream. It was so vivid and graphic that it made me cry every time I thought about it.

I've heard that it so unsettled Shannon that she's preparing to go as a full-time missionary to the country in Africa that it calls to mind: The Sudan.

Ever have a dream that scared you like that? I have - it was so vivid I awoke with my heart pounding. Anyway, let me know if you have some thoughts about it.

How to make 2012 the best year ever

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

With 2012 just around the corner, what changes can you make to your life that will boost the fruit you realize?

A few years ago I wrote a post about applying the 80/20 rule to your life. 20% of work produces 80% of the results. Conversely, 80% of our work is relatively ineffective.

The end of the year is a good time to look at our lives and ask, "What is the 20% of my work that produces the greatest value in my life and how do I increase that percentage?"

Here is what I do: To increase my effectiveness, I look at who I'm leading and the scope of their leadership. Some questions I ask in this regard:

Are they truly leading their team? Or do they spend more time doing tasks?
Do they help team members where they're going together and how to get there?
Do they have a deep understanding of their strengths and weaknesses?
How do they respond when I challenge them? Do we work synergistically?

My 20% involves starting new things. God has gifted me that way. But here is a good example where one's greatest strength can be one's greatest weakness. That's because I tend to start too many new things. I need to focus on those new initiatives that may have the greatest impact.

That's me. What about you? Where do people tell you that you shine the most? What 20% of activities that you engage in produce most of your results?

Beginning with your work life, make a list of the activities you do on a regular basis.
Evaluate the percentage of time you spend.
Go through the list and ask, "What can I cut back on?"
Say no to the stuff that perhaps God never asked you to pick up in the first place.
Go back and do the same exercise for your personal life. What are you trying to accomplish there? What critical activities will make the greatest impact?
Ask God what he thinks about your priorities. What changes does he want you to make?

Changing behavior is rarely easy work - to get really serious about it, ask a friend to help you in the process. Have her look at your list and help you evaluate your priorities.

The media says that 2012 is going to be a tough year for all of us. But consider the possibility that God wants you to have your best year ever.

Don't trust your boss with your identity

Thu, 29 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Who can you ever really trust with your identity? Who sees who you really are?

My answer: Not many people and most especially, not most bosses.

The end of the year is a good time to do a review of the stuff that's important in your life, beginning with your identity. Where do you get it? For most of us, from a lot of places, but particularly from people who tell us about ourselves. When they do, we get to choose to believe them or not.

So here's a good principle: Be careful about trusting someone with your identity if they are focused on evaluating your role. They usually aren't trustworthy. Even if your boss is also a friend, your boss may not say everything he'd like to say.

Too often we find ourselves in a role that doesn't fit us. It happens in a lot of different ways. Maybe your first boss understood you, but moved on. Maybe there was a re-org. Maybe someone else got promoted. The workplace is complicated.

I've got a friend who finds himself in this space. He used to have a lot of responsibility. But the organization shifted around him and all of a sudden this guy is in what the military calls no-man's-land. He's not adding value as he could be, caught between his need for a salary and a role that doesn't fit him.

Who knows what his boss is thinking. He may be under pressure to meet budget requirements and may be reviewing the list of candidates he's going to cut right now. My friend could be on that list. And when they sit down to have a conversation, my friend's boss could say almost anything just to get it over with. Maybe hurtful things; maybe he'll stretch the truth.

Sure, we all make compromises and take jobs just to get paid, but too many of us allow that role to define us. We allow our boss who doesn't really know us to define us by the work we do. And in the process, we put ourselves at risk, entrusting something that is precious to someone not worthy of the trust.

In some circles, it's called "working for the Man." The Man is that boss, that impersonal individual about whom you have no illusions. He may hand you a paycheck, but he's not to be trusted. How can you trust him? He doesn't begin to know the things that wind your clock.

Still, we do it. We want to trust someone who holds our fate in our hands. We want to be safe. Yet if he doesn't know who you really are, realistically, can he really help you become the person God intends you to be?

Your identity can be a fragile thing. It is impacted every day by your life experience. We men, especially, tend to look at our identity through the lens of what we do. Encounter enough failure and you may begin to think poorly of yourself. I was never so depressed as when I was unemployed.

The world is set up to shoot you and your dreams down, to move you toward mediocrity. People actually want to see you fail so they can feel better about themselves by comparison. Most people aren't to be trusted. They'll say anything. Who knows why they say it?

We followers of Jesus believe that God created us and understands us. He sees us not as the mess we are, but transformed through our faith in Christ. Scripture tells us we are in a way, sons and daughters of the most high God. He loves us and wants to tell us the truth about ourselves.

Have you asked him what he thinks of you lately? It may change your life.

Dying with regrets

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

We were talking about a neighbor who died this past year.

Two days before dying, she confessed to a friend, "I'm afraid of death. I never really lived. I had these dreams I wanted to do. I had these places I wanted to visit."

How tragic. And I wondered, "Was there anything in her life that would have allowed us to see her life ending like this?"

I asked Karen about it and she said, "Yeah, she was always concerned with doing things the right way. She was concerned with appearances. I tried to keep my distance from her."

It's a sad story, but it gives me courage. We live in an overcautious society that is perpetually measuring risk. We parse it out in dribbles. Too many of us, having believed the lie about what we can't do, never learn what we can do. We never put our trust in a God who wants to do "exceeding abundantly."

I've made it my ambition to live life without regrets. I want to suck the marrow out.*

I don't want to wind up looking back and wishing I'd had the courage to commit to my dreams.

How about you? What dreams will you commit to in 2012?

* For inspiration, please read Thoreau's Walden Pond.

We need pain to grow

Tue, 27 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

The space between Christmas and New Years is a good time to take stock. It's a good time to think about how you want to grow next year. Most of us want to grow, but sometimes we get stuck trying to make the cost/benefit calculation. If you're like me, you want to know the pain required is worth it, right?

We can't escape the fact that we need pain to grow. Because our bodies routinely suffer bumps, bruises and cuts, we need a properly functioning nervous system to activate the healing process of the immune system.

Leprosy is an especially deadly disease because it impairs a person's nervous system. Without feeling pain, small infections go untended and become worse. Pain is not the enemy - it is necessary if the body is to return to its normal, healthy state. Pain is the body's signal that something is amiss that needs attention. You feel the heat of a flame and pull back to avoid being burned.

In the realm of emotions and the relationships that prompt them, we experience pain and we speak of hurt feelings. Damage a person's sense of significance and the pain is a signal to do something - fight or flight.

When parents or other family members routinely wound a child whose sense of self is in process, she will develop coping mechanisms. It becomes "normal" for her to retreat to a fantasy world. She may begin to believe lies, confusing them with truth.

Because few families are healthy, most people have areas in their lives where they were unable to process pain in a normal way. We may see the symptoms of passive-aggressive behavior, defensiveness, or neurosis.

Underlying these symptoms, however, are places where pain didn't lead to healing, but to permanent brokenness, a walling off or estrangement from oneself.

When Jesus came to set the captives free, to bring abundant life, this was one of his primary ministries. When he proclaimed us, his followers, to be ministers of reconciliation, he was referring to these issues. He wants us to feel again, to experience the healthy pain that helps us to live normal lives.

It can be confusing if we want to help heal. We may want to deliver a person from pain when what they really need is to return to that broken place where they weren't able to process pain, but had to cope in dysfunctional ways.

When we help a person return to that place of brokenness, they will usually feel the pain that they originally shut down. They will feel broken because they were broken. But this place of brokenness can be a place of healing if the coping mechanisms are identified and corrected.

We call this process of appropriately dealing with emotional pain "grieving." Grieving allows us to look at reality. We can come out of hiding. Things didn't happen as they should have. Abusive behavior resulted in wounding and dysfunction.

Yes, Jesus is interested in setting us free. But it will often require that we feel pain along the way. And the good news is that on the other side of pain is the freedom we long for.

Think about your own life. Are there painful events that you've chosen not to think about? How have you processed the pain in your life? It's a good time to choose to press into the pain so that you can live in greater freedom and grow again. I pray that you do.