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Ambivalent

Today we hopped on a long flight to Asia. We have arrived and are deep into combating jet lag as I write this. It’s 1:11 a.m. and the A/C isn’t working. I think we’re switching rooms…   I used to love travel – the new places and new experiences were exhilarating. But lately I find mysel…
By Seth Barnes
Today we hopped on a long flight to Asia. We have arrived and are deep into combating jet lag as I write this. It’s 1:11 a.m. and the A/C isn’t working. I think we’re switching rooms…
 
I used to love travel – the new places and new experiences were exhilarating. But lately I find myself feeling irritable as I think about getting on another plane.
 
There’s the possibility of a delay.
There’s the seat that starts to feel hard the longer you fly.
There’s the possibility of getting a cold from your sneezing neighbor.
There’s the exhaustion you feel because you can’t sleep sitting up.
And when you arrive, customs/Immigration lines can be long.
 
Plus, there’s all the comforts of home you leave.
I like my coffee waiting for me in the morning.
The couch is so comfortable.
My friends are around.
My little dog Asha looks out the window for me to come home from work and I don’t.  
I used to love to get on trains in Europe and just go. I’d sleep on sidewalks. I’d meet new people along the way and travel with them. I loved to discover new things.
 
Now, I wonder to myself how Rick Steeves does it. Or some of you businessmen – I take my hat off to you. You and all your frequent flyer miles are amazing.
 
And I think, that’s kind of how the Christian walk is. It can be hard to do the things that help you grow. It’s easier to stay comfortable. I’m ambivalent about fasting – don’t like not eating; like the results. Getting up to pray in the morning is hard when it’s cold out.
 
To be  ambivalent is to hold conflicting feelings simultaneously. Americans are ambivalent about the current slate of politicians running for president. It’s normal.
 
But it makes me uncomfortable when I read what God says about ambivalence. “A double-minded man – unstable in all his ways,” James says. “Because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth,” Jesus says in Revelation.
 
I don’t know if I’ll ever really be comfortable being comfortable. How about you?

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