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Brokenness helps you to run faster

Brokenness
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By Seth Barnes

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Last year, Christie Albaugh was with a team in Cambodia.  She had just finished English Club with the kids and immediately headed straight up the stairs to go to the bedroom. As she turned the corner, she was caught off-guard by a cloud of swarming bugs that were swarming in the hallway. Big ones, little ones, and lots of creepy ones.

Boom. Everything came to a head all at once. She found herself unable to restrain the words that had been buried deep inside her. Later she recounted what happened:

I found myself listing off everything that was currently making my life a living hell. I feel gross and I can’t shower, my hair has bugs in it, I can’t leave the room, it’s raining outside so it’s going to be muddy tomorrow, the room is a disaster, I can’t be alone, it’s hot and I’m sweating, I have to practically sit on the ground to go pee, for the past 7 days all I’ve eaten is rice, my legs are hairy, my team doesn’t understand me, I’m sick of living in community, the bugs and water are attacking my bed, I have to shower with a bucket, I haven’t stopped sweating since I left California, I can’t go running here, we can only access internet once a week, I can’t walk through the room without ducking through 4 different laundry lines, and it’s been over a week since I’ve eaten any chocolate.

I mean honestly, can life get any worse? The explosion lasted somewhere around 15 minutes.
And, with apologies to Christie, my response is,  “Bring it on!” We desperately need to exhaust our personal resources and declare bankruptcy, falling on our knees in dependence before a God who is waiting to be more than our refuge of last resort.  We need brokenness in the worst way. I’d rather we get there through a swarm of bugs than not get there at all.
In the past, God has taken away my job, my ability to provide for my family, and the foundation for too much of my identity.  Each time, I entered into a time of greater dependence on him and ultimately greater intimacy with him. I was richer for it.
dump 2And that’s how it works: people minister out of their redeemed brokenness. When we’re broken, we move towards dependence on God. He redeems it, finding gold in the trash heap of our life, and once we’ve come through the brokenness, we can listen with appreciative tenderness and pray for others going through a similar trial.  Wild horses are that way – they need to be broken and then they are able to “partner” with their rider.
Like wild horses, God breaks us to help us run faster.

 

What has brought you to brokenness and a greater dependence on God?

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