Sometimes small groups go through natural dips of momentum and sometimes they just need to die. The question is, how do you know the difference?
Small groups, like churches, go through life cycles. Have you ever been part of a small group that was getting too comfortable? Maybe it was no longer fulfilling its function. Yet, because you liked the people, you continued to meet.
It's a typical experience for small groups. Unable to speak the truth, the small group continues to go throught the motions, not realizing that it has lost its way. Zombie groups meet out of force of habit, but along the way, their members sense that if something doesn't change, their commitment will wain.
Diagnosing the Community
How do you know if your community is in trouble? I suggest looking for a few telltale signs. Here are four:
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You talk about the same subjects.
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You don't connect at a heart level.
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Your primary reason for going is a sense of obligation.
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You find your energy level declining.
What do I do?
If your group is like a sailboat without wind – becalmed and going nowhere, you may find yourself in the uncomfortable position of asking the group to assess itself. Doing so is a healthy step for any group. Facing the truth together helps you find the courage to recommit or disband.
Specifically, you may want to follow these steps:
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Have a tough conversation
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Reexamine your reason for meeting
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Consider taking a break
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Bring in new people
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Recommit or pray about disbanding
The good news is, you don't have to continue on pretending like everything is normal. Changing things doesn't mean that you don't care. It's an inevitable and necessary part of small group life.
Good post, Seth.
Seth, excellent discussion points with all small groups. Setting some guidelines when first meeting and following up during the season of meeting can enrich the personal relationships by shedding the facades and being truthful in compassion and love. Enabling others to step out and start another group should also be a purpose. Specifically for enriching the Kingdom. I’m sharing this Blog. God Bless
Great post Seth. I’m gonna use this as discussion format for my small group this weekend as we restart and format a new convenant between us for the new school year. thanks
Insightful Seth…thanks.
Evan, Chris, Bullet and Butch, thanks for the encouragement. I’m going on 7 years now with this blog and feeling it needs some fresh blood, but meanwhile this encouragement keeps me going.
Seth I read your blog every day and want to affirm that often there are prophetic threads of influence you may not see. You are an “old soul” with fresh ideas and a ton of experience. I love the mix. And I love you friend….
It’s good that people should know it’s ok to disband or change when necessary and in a healthy way. “There’s a million ways to skin a cat” and a new way not only brings about freshness at times but also keeps the wind in those sails. Good read.