Helicopter parents swooping to the rescue

America has become the world’s first pediocracy – a nation run by children (and No, I don’t mean our politicians). The fathers abdicated their God-given authority role. The mothers stepped into the breach and did what good mothers do – protect and nurture. This created a vacuum of parental au…

By Seth Barnes

23 June 2008, 12:06 am

By Seth Barnes

23 June 2008, 12:06 am

America has become the world’s first pediocracy – a nation run by children (and No, I don’t mean our politicians). The fathers abdicated their God-given authority role. The mothers stepped into the breach and did what good mothers do – protect and nurture.

This created a vacuum of parental authority. Nature abhors a vacuum. Without realizing it, parents have become chauffeurs and concierges for a generation of children that bounces from Game Boys to soccer practice to Nintendo and in the process came to assume that life owes them a good time.

Many parents identify so thoroughly with their role that even after their children leave the nest, they are incapable of releasing them to feel the consequences of their own actions. Enmeshed as they are in an identity validated by living vicariously through their children, they helicopter in at various points to rescue their children when they are in peril.

Of course such a situation is absurd. God never intended for parents to live this way. He delegated authority to fathers as providers and protectors. He set it up so that “it will go well for you” if you obey your parents.

With things so far out of whack, is it any wonder so many children struggle to trust and are looking for community – a place to belong and recover a sense of safety they never had growing up? The irony is that they test the fences around them so much in part to validate that they can be trusted. When parents give into their kids, the kids actually feel less, not more, secure.

Parents would do well to start from scratch, trying the biblical order that God established for our well-being so many years ago.

Comments (6)

Traci Rowe

June 23, 2008 at 10:19 am

Hi! I am starting to read the book Red Letters from the promotion on Tom’s blog. I posted my first reflection on http://www.tracirowe.blogspot.com.

Thanks!

ps. I wasn’t sure where I was supposed to comment, so if you would like to redirect me, please do!
Andy

June 23, 2008 at 11:05 am

AMEN!
Brett

June 23, 2008 at 1:53 pm

I so agree, Seth – thanks!
lisa black

June 23, 2008 at 5:04 pm

you nailed it my brother, brilliant, this is the subject of my third book… already have the outline,
love you,
L
Mark

June 24, 2008 at 9:45 am

Your entry is merely an overview. I’m wondering what specific advice you have for fathers? Can you give us any “tools for the toolbox”?

Thanks.
seth

June 28, 2008 at 7:13 pm

ok, i’ll get on it for you, Mark. gimme some time – i’m in a busy season now.