At times, I feel just like I felt in jr. high school. As a 7th grader, I remember the terror of PE class. I weighed 77 pounds and through what must have been an administrative error, found myself in the same class as the entire football team. Most of them were twice my size. And all we ever did was play this game of dodge ball where we’d fling red rubber balls as hard as we could at one another.
It was so terrifying that I’ve blocked out most of those memories. The only thing I can recall is trying to hide behind the bleachers so as to avoid the sting of the ball slamming against my skin and the resultant laughter from the opposing team. What a horrible invention jr. high is. No wonder our national test scores keep dropping if that’s how we start our kids toward adulthood.
As an adult, I still sometimes experience the same feeling of not fitting in, but I’m OK with it. The world’s scorn no longer stings me like one of those dodge balls. While the opinions of others used to give me points of reference to steer by, now I care more about what God says about me. And in this regard, the apostle Paul is a frequent source of encouragement. Check out what he said to the Corinthian Jesus-followers:
“It seems to me that God has put us who bear his message on stage in a theater in which no one wants to buy a ticket. We’re something everyone stands around and stares at, like an accident in the street.” (1 Cor. 14:9-10)
Paul’s example was the gold standard. He didn’t care what people thought of him. His personal center of gravity came from God. He may have stuck out like a sore thumb from the world’s perspective, but he knew it was his job to change that view.
If you can relate to perpetually feeling like you’re in some jr. high PE class, I think the key is to begin to locate your center of gravity elsewhere. This blog, for example, is a start. Maybe try reading the rest of Paul’s letter to the Corinthians.
Take a look at the army God assembled to be David’s first militia. They were all misfits … everyone of them. And they were led by a flawed individual who God called “a man after HIS own heart”. PTL. I’ve got a place.
thanks for being transparent here. it helps little insecure guys like me find the spirit inside that’s destined for greatness
I suppose the football players could represent the Pharisees and those legalists of the Corinthian church. How difficult is it for them to reach that place where the point of reference is God’s instead of the world’s? It seems that humility would be a longer, more difficult trek for them. What do you think?
ok, so i am going to ask the question here that we are all thinking: what came up to make you feel insecure and write this. ??? secret or public?
b,
why would i necessarily be feeling insecure in order to write this blog? that’s an interesting and inaccurate assumption. my aim is to help people live free and one of the things that most undermines them in this regard is their insecurity.
i was meditating on this and reached back into my past to illustrate the principle.
not that i don’t from time to time wrestle with related issues. as i said, “As an adult, I still sometimes experience the same feeling of not fitting in, but I’m OK with it.”