It’s a hard thing to be human, to be vulnerable and accessible. I was reading an interview with Elon Musk in Rolling Stone Magazine. Musk is a man who is changing the face of the planet. He is building rockets that will go to Mars and changing the car industry at the same time.
Yet, when asked about his father, Musk said, “You have no idea about how bad [he was]. Almost every evil thing you could possibly think of, he has done. It’s so terrible, you can’t believe it.” Tears ran silently down his face as he shared this with the interviewer.
Musk struggles to connect with his human side. He says, “If I’m not in love, if I’m not with a long-term companion, I cannot be happy.”
Here is one of the most powerful and successful men in the world, yet like the rest of us, he feels weak at times.
Richard Rohr says, “Our culture of romance suggests that sex and marriage solve the problem of loneliness and longing. But from many people I’ve talked with, it seems there is a great deal of unhealthy sexuality, trauma, and wounding in our sexually preoccupied world. I believe sex, marriage, and celibacy are not given to us to solve the problem, but to actually reveal the problem. They show us that we still don’t know how to love.”
I resonate with that – it’s my loneliness and longing that show me I don’t know how to love. It’s the vulnerable things in my life that keep me human.
For example, there’s Shoshanna, our first granddaughter. She mostly sleeps and eats at present, but recently she has started to smile. She is a bundle of vulnerabilities that connects me to my own frailties.
And there’s Asha, our little morky dog. She may only be eight pounds, but in her mind, she’s the fierce protector of the homestead. When deer walk into our yard and we let her out, she goes racing after them. She keeps me in touch with my humanity. I feel like Asha as I pursue some big goal.
Your humanity is the best part of you. What keeps you human? What reminds you of your vulnerability? We need self-compassion. We need to be able to see ourselves in our place of weakness without shame.
Jesus didn’t protect himself. He lived exposed to the elements and to the critique of those who didn’t like him. He gave us the example of vulnerable living.
The best way to live a full life is to embrace your humanity. Take an inventory of those places where you feel vulnerable or ordinary. Are there relationships where you never seem to be able to please someone? Are there situations where you feel like you are perpetually failing?
Consider the possibility that those may be the things about you that are most precious to God. They may be in your life to connect you to your human side, the part of you that needs God most – the part that declares your need for him.
Being weak and showing your weakness to others signals to us that we don’t have to be insecure around you. That human part of you is actually the easiest part for the rest of us to love.
“Take an inventory of those places where you feel… ordinary.”
I’ve been feeling this exact word lately. Embracing the things that seem so natural and ordinary, yet fill our hearts with happiness are the beginnings of Incarnation—the unique expression of God’s love we were created to be.
Great blog.
So so good Seth! Were all our own worse critic, and self-loathing needs to be hurled to the ground or at a minimum taken captive to the obedience of Christ, and exchanged for that self-compassion you spoke of.We beat ourselves up and in a twisted pride sort of way keep ourselves in probation or penanceing mode far after Gods over and done with our sin but were unable or unwilling to get over our selves. Oh Lord, I renounce my pharisaical self righteousness towards others and toward myself, I will be a grace-filled man!
Thanks Seth for the encouragement
Amen, Matt! Let’s move toward grace together.
This is a great blog for all of us high achievers out there. So true.
Excellent blog Seth.
“We need to be able to see ourselves in our place of weakness without shame.”
Just earlier this evening, God was revealing to me how my shame leads me into fear, that I feel such humiliation when my weakness is exposed that I lead a self-defeating, paralysed life, afraid to try because I might fail.
It astounds me how Jesus was the opposite, he was so vulnerable to everyone, knowing that one day he would be crucified by them. He bore our shame, without fear. He didn’t run away, he embraced suffering. I’m right at the beginning of learning how to do that.
Thanks for the thoughts. Blessings to you.
Suzanne – good to hear from you. It’s been a while.
I think we all struggle to be as vulnerable and available to people as Jesus was. It’s great that you’re pressing into learning this.
Thank you for sharing this Mr. Barnes!! I’m learning to embrace my vulnerability and reminding myself of weaknesses without dwelling on them. I’ve learned my weaknesses glorify the grace of God! And I love that in my weakest form, God shines the brightest. It’s not about living a life of perfection. No one is perfect but Jesus. Praise Him for that! Because it’s shown me how much I really really need and want Him in my life! Looking forward to meeting you at Training Camp! God bless you!
Hi Gisele. Sounds like you’re on a good path. And yes – hope to see you at TC.