Losing a friend to AIDS


An Exception
There is a death however, that became an exception. It changed from observing community routine on a weekend to something that hit hard home to me. A teacher died at the school adjacent to the community center. Pupils in uniform as well as community people came in large numbers to wait for big lorry to transport them to the parental home of this teacher for the funeral.
Miss Mbingo was darling to all the children in the community. My firstborn daughter, Nothando was also very close to her. Nothando used to visit with the teacher often. When Miss Mbingo fell sick, Nothando and her three close friends would go help her sweep and clean the house, fetch her water and other basic things she needed help with. When she died on Easter weekend everyone knew about her death and the children talked about it a lot.
A Confession
Nevertheless, to me this was just another AIDS victim that had succumbed to death. I will also confess that I felt no remorse or even a tinge of sadness over her death. In my mind I was reasoning that I had done my part in trying to help her because if, only if she was not so obstinate she would be alive. Miss Mbingo refused HIV/AIDS treatment believing that the LORD will heal her. I counseled with her to no success and now she was dead. Oh! Lord forgive me.
The Moment of Reality
My daughter came home that evening of the before the funeral with a lot of questions about death. At first I took them as general questions from an infant curious about the ritual of death. I began to give casual answers about how people die so that they can go to their maker in heaven if they accepted the atonement of sins through Jesus. She then says, “I’m suffering a lot of pain deep in my heart.” Wow! That hit home. There and there I remembered that she was referring to the death of Miss Mbingo. I also recollected that when she was in Grade 1 she lost her class teacher. She wanted to know if Miss Mbingo was safe and well where she was.
What struck me the most is my daughter’s wish. She wished to be the first to die in the family because she cannot stand losing any of her parents thus becoming an orphan. She plainly said she does not believe she can survive the death of either of her parents. She kept on repeating this statement and by that time my eyes were teary. I tried my best to hold them but my daughter was confused, in pain and hurting. I could not watch her hurt like that but then there was nothing I could do. I ran out of words.
When I cuddled her gentle and began telling her it was alright as I was right there by her side understanding how she feels about this whole thing. She burst out weeping aloud like someone just heard bad news. She let out such a sad mourn it began to hurt me deep inside my soul. I began to cry with her not sure if I was mourning the death of Miss Mbingo or my daughter fractured soul. I kept her in my arms for such a long time that she fell asleep like a very small baby. I did not want to let her go so I too fell asleep with her in my arms.
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Oh the darling girl. Want to hug her and never let her go. This is exactly why Jesus wept at the grave of Lazarus, even though he knew he was only 10 minutes from seeing him alive again. The way death and pain fractures the soul broke His great heart into pieces.
we weep with Pastor Gift…and his daughter.
speechless.
Dear Dadi Seth,
This is very sad news for us we will be praying for them.
Emmanuel Sadiq
So very sad