Praying for a dead woman will change you
Yesterday, a Filipino woman who was a part of the ministry center we are working with here in Manila died of cancer. Her name was Marisol, she was 28 years old and left behind 4 young children and a husband. Some Filipino women had come running up to the center the night Marisol died.
They begged us to go pray for Marisol, that she would “wake up.”
So we walked up the hill to Marisol’s house, laid hands on her, and asked the Lord to raise her up. Craziest thing I have ever been a part of, for sure.
But after 2 hours of the most powerful prayer I have experienced in this lifetime, I couldn’t help but think it was also the most God-filled thing I have ever been a part of. As I heard Marisol’s children pleading, “Wake up, Mommy,” and as I looked into their wet eyes, past the tears and the deep chocolate brown of their irises, I saw again the same divine spark that I carry inside myself.
Before I could understand what was happening, a deep anger began bubbling up inside my soul, stronger and more raging than any other
emotion I have ever experienced. I began to weep, deep sobs welling from a place inside my Spirit that I never knew existed. For the first time in my life, I felt I fully grasped that things are not as they should be. This was not God’s design for humanity; Satan came to steal, kill, and destroy, and on some levels he has succeeded. Marisol never should have been taken away from her children. Cancer never should have robbed her of her young life. Things are not as they should be.
Marisol did not get up yesterday, for reasons only God can understand, but my faith was not diminished. If anything it was increased, as I was able to more fully take in the divine heartbreak God experienced when His creation chose a lie over His truth, allowing this evil to rip the world apart and blind us to the piece of Divine each of us carries within ourselves.
Rob Bell once said, “Community isn’t really created–it’s discovered.” I am beginning to understand this, day by day, as I realize
that a people group that seems so different from myself maybe isn’t as different as I thought. Maybe I am just discovering the bonds that have been there all along. Maybe I am beginning to see a piece of the Divine, as I experience a taste of God’s heartbreak as He longs for a humanity that has spurned His advances.
Maybe I am beginning to see that the ministry that I am taking part in outside the walls of this center is nothing compared to the work that is going on inside the walls of my heart.
Comments (2)
Leave a Reply
I so appreciated this post. I find that I don’t always understand all that the Spirit of God is doing in and through me, but nonetheless it is in Him we live and move and have our being.
God give us the grace to be obedient, to listen to your heart, and to learn from our experiences.
Blessing to you as you minister. I will be joining your ministry in Swaziland in the beginning of October. Am so excited to learn more.
B
There is a fellowship in suffering and tears we cannot find elsewhere.