I expected to be bored by the sermon. The preacher was young and looked over-eager. But then he said something that lodged in my spirit: “nothing leaves shrapnel in a soul like shattered dreams.”
It was true and it was poetic. How many of us have nurtured a seed of a dream, watered it with time and attention, and given it love and hope, only to see it die? Maybe it was the dream of changing the world in some small way. Maybe it was just the dream of a relationship.
I’m watching my children get into and out of serious relationships. And I’ve observed that when the dream of the relationship has shattered, it’s been easy for shrapnel to lodge in the soul.
The thing about shrapnel, I’m told, is that it can move around inside you, and if it finds its way to your heart, and there blocks the flow of blood, it can kill you.
As searing as the pain of a shattered dream can be, letting the resulting grief fester until it becomes bitterness can be worse still. The shrapnel needs to be dug out, the grief properly observed; words of forgiveness need to be spoken.
Too many of us are walking around with shrapnel in our souls. Dig it out before it goes to your heart.
Have you ever watched the TOTAL FORGIVENESS video of
RT Kendall at http://www.rtkendallministries.com ?
Total forgiveness is a vital part of the process of shrapnel removal.When dreams are shattered there is always someone to forgive even if it is yourself.
blessings to you all
That’s a good word Dad, thank you.
Love you!
Estie
yeah! good stuff.
This ministered to my soul. Thanks!
Seth,
I really appreciate your words… and the words of the young preacher.
From 1982 to 1996, it had been my dream to serve in East Africa among unreached or under-reached people groups. My heart was also just for the people of East Africa, reached or unreached. I also had a heart for fellow missionaries serving there and wanted to be a source of encouragement for them. Essentially, my dream had been going for 14 years.
During that time I had experienced that shrapnel from shattered dreams two different times. The incidents are not important to discuss as much as how the shrapnel grew into a bitterness that ultimately de-railed my dream of dreams.
I had made 3 short trips to East Africa in 88, 91, and 95. I left with my family in early 96 to see the fulfillment of my heart’s dream. Six months later I was leaving Africa, walking away and giving up.
Ultimately as God dealt with me over the next year, He began to pinpoint the bitterness that I had been harboring and the unconfessed sin that had been so instrumental in bringing an end to my time in Africa.
I went back to those individuals first from the previous two incidents and confessed my bitterness. I then began traveling to the churches and individuals that had been our support team and confessed to them and asked for their forgiveness. Upon the last visit, the Great Physician removed the last piece of shrapnel.
Healing still needed to take place. After pursuing a dream for 14 years, it wasn’t easy to change courses. I struggled for about 6-7 years with finding my mission and purpose in life. God was more than gracious. There was healing in those years.
I am on a new purpose now, but your blog post, and the “shrapnel” illustration was a powerful reminder how important it is to live in grace and to live graciously, being a forgiver, and letting love prevail.
I still have a heart for East Africa. Lord willing, I hope to take my family back on a short-term mission. But, my heart is content, healed, and satisfied in His purpose.
Blessings!
Rich