The Difference Between an Orphan and a Son
A blog reader wrote me trying to understand the orphan spirit that she has. What is the difference between an orphan spirit and a spirit of sonship? And what do we do about it?
If you’re a son or daughter, you know there’s enough food in your father’s pantry. You invite the hungry to sit around your table and enjoy it because there’s always enough. A son or daughter lives out of love and connection and easily pours that out to others who secretly worry that they are orphans.
Here’s a list that may help you better understand an orphan spirit.
Issue Orphan Spirit Spirit of Sonship
View of God You see God as Master See God as a loving Father
Dependency Independent/Self-reliant Acknowledge your need
Law Love of Law Law of Love
Feelings of insecurity You often feel insecure You’re at peace
Need for approval You seek man’s approval You please an audience of 1
Serving To score points Serve with gratitude
Spiritual Disciplines Works-oriented A means to intimacy
Self-image You feel rejection You feel accepted
Sources of comfort Addictions, compulsions Times of quietness
Friends Jealous of their success Feel good when others win
Comparison Critique others to feel good You love unconditionally
Those in authority You don’t trust them You’re respectful
Critique/correction Hurts your feelings You welcome it
Abundance mentality Worry about what’s yours “There’s always enough”
The future Worry about the future You’re at peace
God cares about those who have been orphaned or who feel that way. Jesus offers us a freedom that can change our lives.
Here’s what the Bible says: “The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” Romans 8:15
Which list looks more like you? Don’t you want to live free, at peace with yourself and the world? I suggest we start by praying a prayer:
“Lord, I’m tired of worrying about whether there will be enough to me. I want to embrace you as my Father and feel like a real son (or daughter). I renounce this orphan spirit and ask that you give me the spirit of adoption. Show me what it’s like to depend on you and you alone for your provision.”
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These consistently find me and minister to the exact season of life I’m in. Thank you for sharing what you know.
This is good, Seth. Such an important truth to our freedom.
Thanks Seth for this important reminder. Here where I volunteer at the Bethel Colony of Mercy in Lenoir, NC one of the first things we address with the now 80+ men in a residential program over 65 days is this very issue. “Who does God say you are?” When the answer to that question is amiss everything helps finds its way to a lowest common denominator. Adopting Sam and Tatiana into the Maltby family really helped me understand as a father the concept of being “grafted into God’s family” and understanding that the one I call the *Planet Maker* isn’t angry at us but inviting all to an abundantly free life. Thanks for these blog prods. I read and ponder them.
LOVE this! Thank you!
The good news, Kayla, is that not only does God believe in you, but you’ve got a lot of fans here on earth as well.
That’s the downside of a chart like this – we can see it thru orphan eyes and feel inadequacy. My prayer for you, Katie, is that you see reality as God sees it and realize afresh just how amazing you are.
No, he’s not angry. He is well-pleased with you, Butch.
Excellent. Thanks
You are a dear friend and I enjoy living life with you, Karen and your family.
This is very relevant for siciety today. The breakdown of the family in America has led to so many people, especially young adults, feeling orphaned. This has led to enslaving lifestyle choices that is leading to an even a larger group of children growing up being or feeling orphaned . Is what is missing is message of freedom made available by Christ active like ve.
That’s right, Keith. Good to hear from you on the blog – I’ve missed you these past few years! Hope you’re well.
Great Message, is so refreshing to know that you teach on that subject,we have being learning and teaching a lot about Sonship, is one of the many things we minister to the teams that we have with us, as our visitors ZOE COSTA RICA, we are privileged to receive your AIM teams with us Pastor Rene Arellano
That’s great to hear, Rene! Thanks for your partnership!
This chart is hard to look at. I always feel like I’m doing really well and growing a lot… then this reminds me how far I have yet to go.