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The magic of incremental affection

incremental affection
Hong Kong was a great time of debriefing with the World Racers. Very soon, they will be on their way home, and a new team will be taking their place in January. I am now with my wife Karen in the Philippines, visiting our son Seth. Few people fall in love at first sight. Most of us fall in lov…
By Seth Barnes

Hong Kong was a great time of debriefing with the World Racers. Very soon, they will be on their way home, and a new team will be taking their place in January. I am now with my wife Karen in the Philippines, visiting our son Seth.

Few people fall in love at first sight. Most of us fall in love gradually as we give and take affection from one another. We’ve been burned enough by life that we trust slowly. We let down our protective barriers gradually.

ks antigua bwThe paradox is that we live in a society that glorifies instant intimacy – a pattern of behavior that leads either to perpetual heartbreak or practiced shallowness.

We need to practice the magic of incremental affection with one another.

We need to pry open one another’s hearts slowly and respectfully, whispering of our significance as we do so.

Show me that I matter and that I make a difference in your life and I am yours. Be patient with my slow-trusting, twice-bitten ways and I might just be your friend forever.

That’s how I make disciples, slowly, showing up in a person’s life over the course of years.

That’s how I want to care for orphans – showing one or two (or twenty?) that they are special, that I remember their birthday, that ultimately life is worth living and even an orphan can trust his or her heart and all the secrets it holds to a few people who will count that trust sacred and honor their humanity.

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