hi seth, i’m sure we can agree that our biggest disappointments–as christians– come from struggles to “do” what we think seems right.
there’s cycles of that, throughout our lives–i think…because we want so much to please God….then we just get so TIRED trying, that we give up.
but that’s the lovely part, as our God knows we have to get to the place where we no longer want to struggle, (or ‘work’) to please God, & God is never angry with us about these efforts or failures.
my flesh wants to serve Him, to earn His Love, to “be a good christian” (in the eyes of men). but my very failures are the way i’ve been victorious over those false beliefs.
our God’s Goodness has become my only focus lately, as i am so much happier believing that He is always blessing me–no matter how it looks at the moment.
that core belief is my lifeline now, “making me to lie down in green pastures”, & rest in His Love…(even though i could choose to dwell on some ugly thing i’d done, or somebody had done TO me.)
it’s necessary for me to really be established in God’s unfailing Love & Grace before i can get anywhere near real “service” for Him. (no longer will i worry about how long this process will take, or whether i’m a disappointment to God.) that stuff will tear you up.
we are already victorious in Christ. getting more & more revelation of Jesus is how i’ll spend the rest of my life: (sitting at His feet, like mary…instead of compelled serving–&complaining–like martha.)
this blessed Truth has taken 50 years to become ingrained in me, but it’s my Promise Land of Rest. enjoying my Savior is okay with God. if there’s anything else He wants me to do, He’ll let me know.