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Too many parents are far too over-protective

I believe in risk. It’s an essential part of good parenting. I don’t fully understand why, but this lesson is lost on most Christian parents I’ve known.   They just don’t get it. They coddle their children, protecting them from the raw realities that make a boy a man, or make a young lady…
By Seth Barnes
By Seth Barnes
I believe in risk. It’s an essential part of good parenting. I don’t fully understand why, but this lesson is lost on most Christian parents I’ve known.
They just don’t get it. They coddle their children, protecting them from the raw realities that make a boy a man, or make a young lady a woman of God.
Throw them into the deep end, I say. I hope you can see by the way we’ve thrown the World Racers out across the globe that I believe in risk taking.
Granted, you have an obligation to support them and to ensure that they’re not going to drown in that deep end. But too many parents fail their children by not letting them test their faith, never forcing them to rely on Jesus because there’s no one else to rely on.
Train ‘em well, then turn ‘em loose, I say.
When they were 17-years-old, we sent Emily and Estie, to South Africa and to Kenya for the better part of a year to minister in the slums. You can’t get much more low down and nasty than that. They came back full of faith, having come of age.
Kids need to make their faith their own and inadvertently, parents too often stand in the way. I’ve watched parents do it poorly for 20 years now. 90% of them mess this one up.
If you’re a parent, you owe it to your children to ask, “Am I raising a nice, well-bred child, or am I giving my child a chance to forge his or her faith for themselves?”

Comments (8)

  • Yeah dad! You and mom did a great job of throwing us in the deep end – not always fun, but always rewarding. Thanks for risking.

  • Wow, i really need help, someone to talk to or something. My dad is a pastor and my mom and his first lady. Since I was a baby I’ve been in church. Love it but things at home sux. I would get in trouble for making an 89 in school, couldnt go past the stop sign at home with my friends, certain friends i couldnt have, even though they wasnt doing anything wrong, couldnt have a normal job, instead i was forced to be a musician for the church in order to make a lil money…lets c, i have no social life, was a football jock, but couldnt hang out with them because they “were going to do nothing but sin” according to my parents. GPA 4.3 in gih school, i juz graduated 09 juz turned 18 in march, no part for me, we had a musical at the church i had to attend. Couldnt go to UT in austin because I “wasnt ready” so instead i have to go to a community college 15 min away in order to work on my law degree….It gets worse, cant tlk to my former girlfriend because she isnt a virgin and isnt at church all the time, Im upstairs writing this and my dad is sneaking up here lookin in the room acting like something is in here, My mom cleans my room going through stuff, looking through stuff, so does my dad….annnnd, my mom is still angry because my 28 yo sister decided to finally move out with her middle to high skool sweetheart, and have a baby, she’s 30 and my mom is still mad…….im on the brink of loosin it, please email me some help, encouraging words or something….

  • My dad is worse than any other dad. im 13, and i still cant go to the park myself. i have freedom, but my parents dont know about it. like 1 time i went over to my crazy freinds house and went ding-dong ditching at like 12 at night,, wich my parents dont know about. another time, he was driving me and my freind to the mall (on saturday, very crowded), and he started giving me a lecture about all the crazy people in the world and kick, scream punch to get awawwy from them. and hes also stupid. he doesnt know how to spell anything, like simple 4th grade words and doesnt even know waht 4×4 is. i think its kind of sad to me. Also, it was in january and i wanted to walk to my freind house, and i didnt want to get a ride from him since he always lecters me starting with the words “we love you but”…..and so on. then he thought since i didnt want him to drive me that i was going somewere secret and going to do drugs. seriously? its sad.

  • sorry forgot 1 thing…….he doesnt even let me cross the street to my freinds house….not a busy street, but a street that NOBODY, i mean NOBODY goes on. he has to watch me go across the street. SERIOUSLY?

  • Oh mine are even worse! well

    1. I can’t cook( What am I suppose to eat?! – processed and canned food =_=) or use the electrical appliances when they are not around

    2. I can’t play in my yard or go out around my house compound when they are not around

    3. Cant go out with my friends unless there’s supervision

    4. During holidays I stay at home 24 hours a day, can’t go out at all.. not even a step out at the door

    5. I must hold my dad’s hand when crossing the road ( arg I’m 16!)

    6. Yes I too can’t cross the street if he’s not there

    They care about my safety.. the funny thing is, they aren’t aware that I’m on the computer almost all the time because that’s the only place I can socialize.. they don’t realize that I’ve talked to so many paedophiles on chat rooms.

    Now I want to get rid of this chatting habit with dangerous people I barely know but how am I suppose to do if I dont have any other social life than that?!

    My parents are too over protective!

    I’m sure I might get wild when i finally stay away from them which is not a good think. I need a healthy and balanced social life!

  • i noe how ya feel mi parents are the same way im 13 by the way
    1. i cant stay home buy myself without a adult for 1 min
    2. i have no socilal life never been to a house wit no parent
    3. cant go to the mall with my friends
    4. my mom has a password on her computer so i cant get on
    5. they hve rules on what size hoop erings or shorts how tight mi jeens are
    6. i still get picked up in frount my house in 9th grade
    7. i have to come stright home
    they say they do it cuz they love me but they want me 2 have fun how am i havin fun if im school home evry day. it makes me cry when people say live your life as a child have fun be urself well i cant

  • My friend’s mom is so strict i dont wanna go over there anymore!!! I am 11 years old. Here is what her mom does:

    1. She makes sure we are in her sight when we go shopping.
    2. At the movies she won’t let us sit in the row in front of her where she can see our head!!
    3. At the movies, if 1 person has to go to the bathroom, all of us have to go because her mom thinks we will get kidnapped and raped.
    4. At her house, she checks on us every 5 minutes to make sure we are ok.
    5. We cant make our own breakfast because she doesnt want us burning down the kitchen.
    6. My friend cant watch any movies with cuss words in it.
    7. When we go swimming, her parents have to stay out there with us for 4 hours cuz thats how long we swim and if she isnt out there we cant go swimming.
    8. She makes my friend go out and take the dog out at 4:30 in the morning and she has to take her phone with her.
    9. She has to text her mom whenever she gets home or her mom will think she got hurt.
    10. One time when she had a sleepover, her mom was freaking out on the phone asking where she was and what she was doing and she said we were getting home because we had just gone to see a local concert. My friend didnt text her mom to tell her she got back safely and her mom called my mom and told my mom she needed to be careful and to text her all of the time.
    11. My friend cant eat or drink without asking her mom.
    12. My friend has only had 3 sleepovers, 2 including mine, cuz her mom wont let her go to sleepovers.
    13. She doesnt know how to shave her legs or pluck her eyebrows and she doesnt know about Santa and the Tooth Fairy being fake and she is 13!!!!

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Seth Barnes

I'm motivated to join God in his global reclamation project. He's on the move, setting his sons and daughters free from their places of captivity. And he's partnering with those of us who have been freed to go and free others.

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