My family just lost my Uncle recently…and my cousins were overwhelmed with people trying to hug them and “make it better.” One cousin said she received 134 hugs at the funeral and that she was so tired of people telling her “it’s going to be ok” to make themselves feel better and then walk away.
In my experience people who are suffering become experts on what not to say to someone who is hurting. In an attempt to comfort, plattitudes (like “God will never give you more than you can handle”) come so naturally out of our mouths but are actually harmful and demeaning.
The best thing i have learned is to be present. Accept that sometimes we aren’t supposed to speak to “fix the situation” for them. Recognize with that person that the situation is awful and affirm that it is ok to be mad and to grieve. Then wait with them for the next step, don’t hurry God’s process.