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What makes me cry

Few things make me more uncomfortable than crying in front of other people. In private, especially in the dark, I’m OK. But I find it embarrassing in public. Our girls don’t have this problem – they are unfettered in their weeping. I believe it is a cultural thing for guys like me. There is a …
By Seth Barnes
By Seth Barnes

Few things make me more uncomfortable than crying in front of other people. In private, especially in the dark, I’m OK. But I find it embarrassing in public. Our girls don’t have this problem – they are unfettered in their weeping. I believe it is a cultural thing for guys like me. There is a lie that we’ve believed: “Big boys don’t cry.”

I was thinking about this after watching “Nanny McPhee,” a children’s movie, and yes, children’s movies with happy endings where the separated lovers get married make me cry. Don’t ask me why; I’m not by nature sentimental. I can even come across as cold to some people. My nature is to be rational.

Two other things that start me weeping are when the Holy Spirit is moving in a prayer (unless you’ve felt this, you may just figure I’m weird or maudlin), and when I’m being asked to make room for hope in my youngest daughter’s life. When you’ve seen so little hope, it’s amazing how emotionally tender you can be when it tries to show up.

For some reason, being vulnerable about this isn’t difficult in a blog, though having you in the same room while I’m weeping would be a real struggle. In the last half of my life, I’m trying to learn what it means to be more fully human. I want to laugh more easily and cry unashamedly. Many of you men need even more help than me in this regard. It’s a sensitive little issue for a lot of us guys.

I’d like to hear what others think about this.

Comments (10)

  • hi there seth i am with you man in a way. when i am in church and the holy spirit start to talk to me i begin to shake and i begin to weep openly. there is nott a week in church that my tears dont flow. and in movie i dont care who see the wife pass me a kleenex i have cried in so many movies. u use to be a guy that never cries gut my best friend got it through my head during a time of loss that there was nothing wrong with a guy crying.since then i have shed a lot of tears. but the best tears of all are the holy spirit tears it deels so good to me when they start streaming

  • I agree with you Seth. I think more guys need to know that it is ok to cry. Since I have become a Christian (which was only about 6 months ago) I have seen more men cry than in my whole life. I will tell you at first it was weird for me becuase us women are not use to seeing men cry as much as they are not use to doing it. But, after all said and done it is great. I have seen so many tears of sadness and joy come out of their eyes and its great. It really gives me another perspective on men, they have emotions! What a concept! lol. But really, I think that it is fine for a man to cry, just don’t let it get to out of control, ok guys. LOL


  • Hey Bro,

    Guys Weeping, hmmm… I asked the Lord to make me like him many years ago, and Jesus wept over Jerusalem and a friend’s death. Adn, he is the “pattern-Son.” So, I think tears are great, because there is a lot of joy when we reap from those sown tears. BTW, probably the one thing about Christianity that scared me to death before I was saved – was the idea of my crying in front of someone – don’t you remember? “…big boys don’t cry..!” God is faithful though, he has placed me around so many hurting people(everyone) and it was either cry or scream – I choose to weep…oh, and sometimes scream. How can we walk past creation and its scream, and not cry? St. Mark <><

    PS. Don’t tell anyone – I cried at the latest C.S. Lewis movie of Narnia. No one could see the theater was dark 😉

  • Shane, I know this is an old post so they may not have come accross your message, just to let you know I’m praying for you now, I hope things have gotten better in the past few months. Keep clinging on to the one who won’t let go of you.

    Seth, what’s the situation with your youngest that needs the hope? (if it’s still current) I’d like to offer my prayers.


  • I’m a 16 year old girl from New Zealand.
    I went to a Christian youth camp around 4 months ago and I don’t know why, but just being there, especially the speakers & music, made me incredibly emotional. The first time I started to cry was when a woman was speaking about being stuck in this life and not being able to free ourselves from sin &c. She prayed for us all (4000 people !) and i felt this amazing emotional surge, which at the time really scared me. i have never cried in front of people, let alone with 4000 others ! I have since started going to youth group &c but .. almost every time I go, something makes me cry. i don’t know why and it’s quite distressing, not to mention embarrassing ! I wondered if anybody could help me .. i feel like I want to become a part of christianity & let God into my life .. but i’m afraid of losing my life as i know it, and i don’t know how to go about it .. i really don’t know what to do, and i’m too shy to ask my youth leader because I know i’ll only start to cry.
    please help me !


  • What makes you cry, It’s almost like a very sensitive emotion that lets out push, and it just makes you want to exert it out so much that your giving yourself pain. It makes you cry to feel what being sad is not what it looks like or if it sounds weird, God sent his only begotten son not to die for our original sin not just for pain and sickness but for everlasting life, Its something we all know and must know because in life we are all going to need help, we can’t just weep and cry for pain and sadness, God said “There is time for being Happy time for being Sad time to laugh time to cry” etc. God did not cry he prayed to the Lord our God while being crucified on the Cross of Calvary and he gave up his life for the one and only God… If we are sad we just pray to God no just that but talk to him reach to him read the Bible Go to church all good things that do God’s deed. If i cry I’ll cry to make the pain disappear away from me and doing that is asking for God’s help and receiving his Grace and sweet Aroma of his Glory, being God’s friend, God is your friend everyone’s friend in the world giving chances to preach his word heal become one of his disciples to be his servant… being with him… Remember that crying isn’t always the option to make pain go away its asking God for God’s help reaching out him embracing is Grace to Love God for what he made you is what you are for everlasting life. Spreading this will help others and Yourself in God’s name. Amen

  • it makes me cry when i think about death, it makes me cry when i think about love and how i never experienced it/ it makes me cry when i fight with my parents’ it makes me cry when i fell like im nothing to my friends. it makes me cry when i fail at something. i cry at least once every two days, usually i do more. i wish someone cared, omg this post is so annoying makes me sound like a horrible person! i also cry when i’m incredibly happy or i miss someone. pls contact me 🙂

  • I think that i may br one of the softest peoplke around, when i see a new born baby, it touches my heart.
    when i see children in the third world starving i cry.
    I cry at sad movies, I cry,
    so many things make me cry,
    I love so many things in this world that,,but anythinhg that is unjust make me cry.
    Yet i can laugh!.
    Dont make some-one cry, love them, help them,put joy into their heartsk, make them want to live, and feel the love embrace you,
    I will still cry, and if you do to then you will truely have a heart..
    there is no shame in crying.
    Look at the suffering around you, give it a test.
    ask God to show you.

  • i cry every day for hours my only help is my belefe of jesus my girlfriend does not want to here about anything to do with god i dont know what to do. iv got noone to pry for me im trying to fight temptation alown the only way for me to fight this is to ask the holy spirt to fill me with power,latly i no need to ask for this,it hits me like a train all day every day for the last 5 days can i ask for some help from you guys ? i cant spell good and im crying my eyes out as i type this thank you fighting this alown is hard and painfull

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Seth Barnes

I'm motivated to join God in his global reclamation project. He's on the move, setting his sons and daughters free from their places of captivity. And he's partnering with those of us who have been freed to go and free others.

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