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World Race dating site?

I know literally hundreds of available twenty-somethings, most of whom at some point have thought to themselves and sometime voiced out loud to me, “I wonder who I’m going to marry?”   Most of  the time I have no good answers. It’s a particular problem for women in the target-poor en…
By Seth Barnes
By Seth Barnes
I know literally hundreds of available twenty-somethings, most of whom at some point have thought to themselves and sometime voiced out loud to me, “I wonder who I’m going to marry?”
 
Most of  the time I have no good answers. It’s a particular problem for women in the target-poor environment in which we live.
 
Five of them are my own children, but many others are World Racers we’ve mentored who feel like our kids. 
 
And if I could give them a prize, it would be to help them find that handsome husband or beautiful wife who makes their dreams come true. I’ve gone to sometime extreme lengths to try and help. For example, the time when I unabashedly advertised my girls availability (to my credit, I also warned their suitors here and even wrote a letter to future sons-in-law here).
 
Sometimes God will actually speak to me and let me know that a couple was intended for one another. In 1993, I heard him say that Steve Forister would marry Peri Wetherington before they’d met. They met and immediately fell in love. They’ve had four children and a wonderful marriage.
 
On the other hand, I completely missed Joe Bunting’s interest in my eldest daughter, Talia. He spied her from a distance and drove across the country to ask for permission to date her. They married half a year later.
 
What are we to do? I talked to Holland Cox, Hope Mendola, and Karis Fowler about the issue the other morning. I showed them the post I’d written about my daughters. We commiserated about the fact that there are just five available guys at AIM now. I said, “What about so-and-so?” And it turned out he’d just been taken off the market.
 
Then somebody said,  “You should put together a web site to connect ex World Racers and our 20-something friends.”*
 
I said, “Great idea, but neither I nor AIM could never be associated with something like that. You guys figure it out and I’ll help you.”
 
It’s bound to be a hot topic. I’ve actually been thinking about it for a couple of years. What do you think? What are the pros and cons of doing it?
 ————–
* By “friends,” I mean, people outside the WR who can relate to and embrace their values of giving all for Jesus and his cause here on earth. That will probably be a much bigger group than just racers.

Comments (21)

  • Hahah. Oh boy, Seth.
    Well…
    I guess I would say, ‘why not?’

    If it’s not someone’s cup-of-tea, they don’t have to do it. But it’d be a great way to connect Racers in general. Romantically or not. Maybe there could be a multi-purpose site. Dating, friending, networking, dreaming and scheming…
    I don’t know personally how I feel about dating networks, but I bet a few couples are bound to come of it.

  • Seth, I love the idea of an online dating site to connect like minded, passionate Christians, but you don’t have to put it together because it’s already being done by a few people here at Bethel.

    It’s not a ‘bethel thing’ either, but an independent dating website created by a few former students to address the same concerns you’ve raised. People just need to get together…but not in the sleazy online dating world where people can be kind of scary and weird.

    This site is way better than any Christian dating website I’ve seen. Check it out at: ondaysix.com

    I’ve already made my profile page and am ‘winking’ at people to make connections. I’d LOVE to see this site reaching World Racers–what an amazing pool of people! (and…it’s free to get started–racers will love that!) ๐Ÿ™‚

  • i think i am one of the 5 available. to bad holland, hope, and karis don’t like skinny boys with sharp wits.

    not really sure what to think of the idea though. conjures up a strange christian e harmony of sorts in my head.

    not sure i would do it. but i’ll bet there would be some racers out there for sure.

  • No need. You’ve already provided ample opportunity simply by giving these kids a place to happen: missionsโ€”it’s authentic, healthy, and organic. The Holy Spirit can do the rest.

  • The ways of the heart, not something to be taken lightly.

    Given two recent Racers I know, their passion for each other and the Lord, it would seem that making it easier for young Christian missionaries to meet each other is a very good thing. Being involved beyond that is much more difficult, and problematic.

  • I think having an alumni racer dating site would definitely be a better idea than having post racers join ChristianMingle or whatever other “Christian” dating sites are out there for Christians. At least this way we would know we are getting legit men and women who are on the same page about important issues like the Spirit, Kingdom, the poor, etc. Then we wouldn’t have to wade through the mucky water of is this person just a “nominal Christian” or do they really love Jesus and want to live for Him!?

  • But would it have to be for just Wrold Racers ?….
    I have a daughter who is a World Racer at heart, but cannot do the World Race for various reasons. As all my children are nearing the marrying age,and we see their hearts and passion for the Lord and the distracted hearts of the same generation around them …. we wonder how and if they will ever find like-minded, like-hearted people to not only marry, but to fellowship with.
    In short… I say go for it, but please leave it open for others besides the racers….. please ?

  • God does not make incomplete plans. He as someone chosen for each of us, and I am sure he also put into place how we would meet them. He is just smart like that. We trust God for everything else in our lives why not this. Why go out looking for something that he has not decided it is time for. It then becomes your will and not his, and 9 times out of 10 in the dating world your will will prevail which can lead to disappointment. Christian Youth of today are so rushed to want to get married that some will just choose the first Christian that comes into their lives as a suitable mate just because they are Christian. They walk around saying “I just want to get married”. I dont think God intended for us to sort through profiles on a dating site to see what his plan was for us its almost like we dont trust that he hasnt forgotten about us. Just a thought.

  • Ha. This makes me laugh.
    From a female perspective…
    1.) Because after 9 years knowing AIM and the WR I’ve yet to get lucky. ๐Ÿ˜‰
    2.) I agree with Mark. Healthy, authentic, and organic. The Holy Spirit can move way mighter than we can. Don’t give the men an easy way out via online dating. Let them be warriors that hunt, lovers that love, and sages that dare to think for themselves.
    3.)Why worry ’cause I know the ladies, myself included, have wonderful spiritual fathers who have our back (and heart) in mind.
    4.)But please let Holland, Hope, and Karis know that men of God live outside of G-ville and the WR too. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Come down to ATL where the dude:chick ratio is much more in their favor.
    5.) PS I also very much love my WR brothers and in no way intend for this to be a bash on them. I’m proud to call each of you mighty men of God!!

    Be fruitful and multiply.

  • Can. of. Worms. :^)

    But seriously, we’ve been thinking about this too–not online dating, but all of these beautiful, talented, smart, devoted, Christian singles out there that are frustrated that they can’t find “The One.”

    But what makes an online list easier than talking to the guy/girl across the hall or riding 4 rows back on the same bus? Is it the fact that we can “browse” for free? Why can’t we just have a coffee and get to know each other face-to-face?

    It’s a stressful time, I remember it well. But I tend to think that many times we over-spiritualize it, too.

    I don’t have answers to any of this, sorry. :^)

    We’re looking forward to seeing you in Spain again soon!

  • Where is my John Wayne
    Where is my prairie son
    Where is my happy ending
    Where have all the cowboys gone

    As one of those singles who is not even in her twenties anymore, I still hate the idea of “on-line dating”. It just feels cheap to me. An it certainly ranks very low on the romance factor in my opinion.

    I want a man that is willing to seek me out – like Joe did with Talia. I know that the cultural view on dating has changed dramatically, but I want to old-time love story. I want to be found. I don’t like the idea of having to advertise myself. I want God to move mountains an arrange that special meeting that is unique to us.

    What ever happened to friends introducing eachother? My parent met on a blind date, and I just found out that my aunt and uncle were introduced by the same person. I think that the people we know are more qualified to spot a potential match than a profile matching program could.

    Besides, the WR site already has a list of all the alumni, complete with profiles and lots of blogs that would tell you a lot about the person. You could easily add a sort by age and gender function that would allow seeking persons to narrow down the list a bit. That would be one way to use already existing information to assist the meeting process without taking all of the adventure/romance out of it.

    God knows I’ve gotten enough radom hits from men in other countries – some I’ve never even been to. Surely, if the WR men are seeking, there are plenty of us to be discoverd.

  • Angi (Francesco) Miller

    Seth, I was the girl who felt unworthy of being pursued by a Godly Man at the start of my World Race. Gary Black talked about how women with strong personalities need to allow men to be men, and to pursue us. I wrote a whole blog about not being worthy of pursuit. A World Race Dating site (or something similar) once again gives women the opportunity to be the instigator in the relationship, which we don’t need.

    My husband and I are together today because he saw me, and he KNEW that I was the ONE for him. God didn’t clue me in to that little detail until a few months later.

    I love the idea of a ‘World Race Linkedin Site’ or something like that… an Alumni and Future Racers site… a site where anyone who has been involved with AIM in any way can reach out and connect with other people and form organic relationships, but I don’t think another dating site is the answer.

  • Haha way late to this, but recently had a racer friend say mention this. So, here is what I have to say. I would follow God and go after the World before moving to Atlanta just to find a 2 to 1 ratio..I also do not like the canned approach and am much more organic and natural. However I live in a land where 99.8 percent of the people are Muslim, so the natural approach is kind of hard.

    Kim, you mentioned you have profiles already, are you kidding, you send a girl a message that you found from searching through profiles and you get the creep or stalker label so fast it makes you need to run back to Ephesians 1 to re-center ๐Ÿ™‚

    OK, so bottom line, there is no easy solution, oh well, we were never promised easy

  • Okay I know this was posted so so long ago. I did the Race January 2016 and honestly, it would be really really cool to create a World Race dating website or app or whatever. Or Facebook group. Or something, haha! It seems like there are so many like-minded people out there, and it would be so cool to talk to and get to know them. People who think, feel and believe the same as you. Anyways, I hope there’s a way this can happen someday! It would be really cool.

  • I think that would really depend on your approach.

    Honestly, it feels a lot more intentional and less creepy to me than having people browse through a list of profiles on a dating site as if it were a catalog. At least if someone were to respond to a post on my WR site, I would know they took the time to read something instead of just making judgements based on a picture.

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Seth Barnes

I'm motivated to join God in his global reclamation project. He's on the move, setting his sons and daughters free from their places of captivity. And he's partnering with those of us who have been freed to go and free others.



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