Listening Prayer May Send You Into Awkward Places

I remember a time when God spoke to me in a way that seemed unmistakable. It was not what I wanted to hear and it put me in a very uncomfortable position that required my courage. When God speaks, he’ll sometimes do that to you.

I was 31 and we had five small children. We were attending a Presbyterian church in West Palm Beach, part of a denomination known as the “frozen chosen” because of their doctrine. But the church was just a couple of miles from our home and we liked the children’s ministry and small group ministry.

Behind the scenes, the board of elders was having a conflict with the pastor. In the middle of this, somehow, I got asked to be an elder. This made no sense since I was a young man. The Bible gives the qualifications of an elder in 1 Timothy 3:1-7 and Titus 1:6-9.  Basically, you need to have a good reputation. Also, as a Presbyterian elder, you need to pledge allegiance to five things John Calvin said.

I was no Presbyterian. I remember the eldership confirmation hearing. They asked, “What do you believe about Calvin’s five points?”

I responded, “I don’t know. We’re new here. I’m maybe a three point Calvinist.”

But they appointed me as an elder anyway. I think they needed my vote to help settle their wrangle with the pastor.

We had lots of meetings. And eventually, we asked him to leave. This did not go down well with the congregation. It was messy and the elder board was a clumsy committee. A number of people were hurt and confused, the pastor and his family included.  They left the church feeling victimized.

Months  passed. We needed to pull the church together. We prayed about calling a church meeting over the Thanksgiving holiday. And I thought I heard the Lord say, “The pastor is going to attend your service. Reconciliation will happen.”

So I prayed, “Lord, I pray that you would do this. If the pastor shows up at the meeting, I pray that we will be reconciled.”

When the evening for the Thanksgiving service came, I was seated near the front. I turned around to scan the audience, and sure enough, there at the back of the sanctuary sat the pastor and his wife just as I had heard God say he would.

Now the Lord spoke to me again, “You are to go to the front and publicly apologize to him and his family for the breach in the relationship.” My heart began to pound. How embarrassing!

I struggled with my thoughts. “Was that really God? What if I’m just imagining all this?”

Finally I stood up and went to the microphone and started to talk. “When I was made an elder in the church, I didn’t feel like I was old enough or qualified enough. We had to try and care for this church. But we hurt people.”

Looking at the pastor in the back of the church, I said, “George, I know we hurt you and your family. I wish it could have been different. I’m so sorry for the pain you’ve had to bear.”

Afterwards, I went to the back of the church and we hugged.  His wife told me, “Thank you!  You don’t know how much that means to us.  This has been hanging over our heads since we left the church.”

What an awkward place our group of elders had been in! We didn’t know what to do. Yes, the Bible gives general principles, but we needed guidance in walking them out. The last thing I wanted to do was publicly apologize to the pastor.

But through prayer – listening prayer – God showed me how to do it. It was the beginning of a season where, as I listened, the Holy Spirit began speaking to me more clearly.