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How to show & receive respect

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“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8 “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:12 Why is that we struggle so to do what Jesus commanded? I mean, it seems like a relatively simple command. Just love me, plea…
By Seth Barnes
By Seth Barnes
“Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:12
Why is that we struggle so to do what Jesus commanded? I mean, it seems like a relatively simple command. Just love me, please. But, in fact, it’s complicated.
 
I spend way too much of my time as a leader helping coach staff through their people problems. Last week I heard of one of our staff member who should know better making a basic mistake – airing their issue with another staff person in public. Almost every day it seems, people spill into my office wanting to discuss such matters.
 
I want to tell them with Rodney King, “Can we all just get along?”
 
There is an answer – it boils down to Aretha Franklin’s theme song: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Too many of us get tangled up in situations where we’re not respecting
one another. We need to take some time and learn the fundamentals of how to show respect.
 
Here are the best pointers on the subject I’ve seen. I pulled this off John Maxwell’s blog. I suggest copying them, taping the list to your fridge and then begin running your life according to them.
  1. If you have a problem with me, come to me (privately).
  2. If I have a problem with you, I’ll come to you (privately).
  3. If someone has a problem with me and comes to you, send them to me. (I’ll do the same for you.)
  4. If someone consistently will not come to me, say, “Let’s go see him together.” (I’ll do the same for you.)
  5. Be careful how you interpret me. On matters that are unclear, do not
    feel pressured to interpret my feelings or thoughts. It is easy to
    misinterpret intentions.
  6. I will be careful how I interpret you.
  7. If it’s confidential, don’t tell. If anyone comes to me in
    confidence, I won’t tell unless (a) the person is going to harm
    him/herself; (b) the person is going to physically harm someone else;
    (c) a child has been physically or sexually abused. I expect the same
    from you.
  8. I do not read unsigned letters or notes.
  9. I do not manipulate; I will not be manipulated. Do not let others
    manipulate you; do not let others try to manipulate me through you.
  10. When in doubt, just say it. If I can answer without misrepresenting something or breaking a confidence, I will.

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