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Tired of waiting for God to speak

Get a Free eBook: Do you want to grow closer to God in your prayer times? I’ve written a free guide called The Three Day Listening Prayer Devotional and I’d love for you to download it. Click here to download the free devotional. I got an email from a blog reader named Jesse …
By Seth Barnes
By Seth Barnes
Get a Free eBook: Do you want to grow closer to God in your prayer times? I’ve written a free guide called The Three Day Listening Prayer Devotional and I’d love for you to download it. Click here to download the free devotional.

I got an email from a blog reader named Jesse yesterday. Who hasn’t felt as she does? I got her permission to share this and I’m hoping a few of you can help her:

Hi Seth,
I typed in Google, “when god is silent.” Done waiting for an answer. What happens when the scriptures aren’t so? Wait for the Lord, He works all things for the good. He parted the red sea but can’t give me any peace.

Readers don’t comment unless you have lost a child. I’m filled to the brink with scriptures of all sorts. His grace is not sufficient for me. It is not well nor ever will be well with my soul. So, again where do you go when the promises in the scriptures simply fail? “I will restore what the locust have eaten.”

Not so. Some losses just can’t be replaced. What rips away even more is God’s silence. Yes, he hears my cry and angels will surround me. Okay, now what? No more fluffy-filled answers. Losing my grip holding onto Jesus’ words. I need more and the silence is so loud.

So I responded to her: “Thanks for writing. I appreciate your honesty and who can’t relate to that feeling of a gap between God’s promises and the reality of his presence? No easy answers. I’ve been there…”

One thing that won’t help Jesse is a trite response. But if you’ve been there and have something that you think might help, please post your thoughts.
Postscript:  To see how God uses an incident like this to minister to others, please read thru the comments below, especially the interaction between Elizabeth and Jesse in Dec. of 2008 (15 months after this was written).  And to see how he worked “all things for good,” please fast forward 15 months to this blog.
Get the free devotional: Deepen your intimacy with God as you pray through this three-day devotional on Listening Prayer. Click here to download the devotional.

The Art of Listening Prayer

Comments (85)

  • Waiting on God – What does it really Mean?

    The Waterhole Blog

    18 March, 2010 Jim Gettmann

    There is a certain phrase which crops up again and again in the Scriptures. I suspect that it is one that makes most of us a little uncomfortable. I’m speaking of those ‘exciting’ words, “wait on the Lord.”

    Psalm 27:14 is a good example: “Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!”

    Or the famous verse, “But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31

    Most of us in this instant, fast-everything age have lost the art of waiting. If it doesn’t happen now, we get the feeling it’s not going to happen at all. And that makes us uncomfortable. We start to feel as if we are no longer in control. If God doesn’t answer our prayers immediately, or within a fairly short time, we start to suspect that something must be wrong, that He is mad at us, or not hearing us, or that the answer was no. Patience has become a dirty word.

    Well, I’m sorry to have to be the one to break the bad news to you, but if you want to be one who goes deep with God – or even if you just want to be an average Joe or average Jane who is learning to know Jesus personally and walk with God – you are going to have to recover this lost art of waiting on the Lord.

    Now I have sometimes wondered what this phrase really means. Am I supposed to just wait God out? Let enough time go by and it will happen? Some versions translate it “Hope in the Lord.” So does it mean that I just sit here and hope that something happens? Both phrases in English seem fairly passive. An admonition to be passive doesn’t sound much like the God I’m getting to know.

    A few days ago I read Psalm 27 aloud as my wife and I were spending time worshipping. As I got to this phrase at the end of the chapter the thought came to me that I should research this word, waiting, and find out what it really means to wait on the Lord.

    The first thing I noticed about it as I read the verse in Hebrew is that it has the same stem word as the word for hope, tikvah. Our word, wait, is kavve. It makes sense in Hebrew, take my word for it. As I already said, many Bible versions translate the phrase as, “hope in the Lord.”

    Other dictionary definitions were: trust, look eagerly for; gather, bind (twist).

    When I want to understand a Hebrew word I’m always asking, “What is the action originally connected with it.” That’s because Hebrew is an action oriented language and culture, not concept and theory oriented. Back in the days of Moses the language was simpler and everything was connected to an action. The concepts we find in our bible translations were adaptions of these actions. This is good for us today, because if we can find it, the original action draws a picture for us to help us understand better. Hebrew is a very pictorial language!

    To make a long story short, the picture behind our word is of strands being gathered and twisted together to make a rope. What does that have to do with waiting in patience and hoping in the Lord?

    Well, look at this picture. You have been praying for months for the Lord to provide a job for your best friend. You see only one thing: your friend needs a job and is having great difficulty surviving financially. Unemployment is running out. Where is God? This is a simple matter! He needs a job!

    God, however, is collecting strands.

    He knows that your friend, let’s call him Robert, needs a job. He has a plan for that job. But he’s also looking at another piece needed to build his strong rope. He’s been working on Robert for a long time, helping him to learn trust. This is an excellent opportunity. He’s got another strand in view, helping Robert learn to manage his finances more wisely. A time of having little is helping him to prioritize and budget.

    He’s also got Robert’s wife in view. She’s further down the road of trusting God and dealing with finances, but she’s having trouble letting go of her fear of trusting men to care for her, since her father never was able to provide for the family.

    Then there is Earl, who owns a business. He could really use someone like Robert, but Earl prefers doing everything himself. If you want it done right… do it yourself. The Lord has been working for a LONG time on him, to get him out of his self-reliance mode. IF Earl responds right, there will be a job offer for Robert. So far he isn’t learning his lesson.

    Then there’s Robert’s parents, who have to finally learn to stop putting their 2-cents in every few minutes or coming too quickly to bail “the kids” out. And the teenage daughter, whose materialism is becoming a problem.

    I think you get the picture.

    Our great Lord is doing so many things behind the scenes, in so many peoples’ lives. It’s not just about the job and it’s not just about Robert. Some strands we see. Others we don’t. But the thing is, when He is done gathering his different strands, he’ll weave them together just right and then you will see the prayer answered.

    Waiting on God is about holding on tight, hoping with expectation and trust, knowing that your Lord is not making you wait just to see how long you can “take it.” He’s a cook with a lot of pots on the stove while he cooks you a 5 course meal, he’s a painter painting a masterpiece. He’s a rope maker weaving a strong rope.

    You are that rope.

    So when you know you need to “”wait on the Lord,” look a little harder and you will begin to see a bunch of hemp strands that you never knew were there. The Lord is drawing them all together, and when he is done weaving, your moment will come.

  • Hi Jesse,
    God can be silent for different reasons. I have to be honest when I say that I have never felt God´s silent as much as I did this year. There was a problem that I felt like I had to solve right away, so I prayed, I listened to others, I read the Bible, I prayed some more, and nothing! It was actually quite impressive because I didn´t stop hearing His voice, He would answer me in other matters, but the one that I felt I really needed His answer He would just be quiet. He stayed like that for 3 months! And He finally answered me with a NO, 3 or 4 days later I understood why. So here are some things that helped me understand His silence: 1- If He´s not telling me what to do right now, is because I don´t need to know now; 2 – His silence doesn´t mean that He doesn´t care and 3- I needed to be thought about having patience. Some people said to me that sometimes God doesn´t speak if you have been sinning, I prayed but notice that it wasn´t my case. He wanted to teach me something else.
    Maybe you´ll learn different reasons! I also read the book of Job, it´s good to remind us how God never forgets about His kids even though sometimes we go through hard times!
    🙂 Hope it helps!

  • Jesse,

    Don’t give up! The devil can out wait you if he knows you will…

    I understand. I have prayed for a couple of different things for SIX YEARS, and still have not received them, but I trust in a God who says that He has “begun” a great work in me and IS FAITHFUL to bring it to completion.

    Instead of head knowledge of Scripture, I need to write them on the tablet of my heart.

    I will pray for you and what you are walking through!

  • As a parent, I can’t imagine anything worse that the loss of one of my beloved and precious children. I have no answers to offer, but if I were there, I would weep with Jesse.

  • Jesse,
    My son went home to be with Jesus April 30, 2005. My heart aches with you in your sorrow. I do understand feeling that God is not speaking to you, when the silence is so loud it hurts. I felt this way for a few months after Jeramy died, I was praying and reading my Bible begging God to talk to me give me something my heart hurt to the point of feeling it would explode. I wish I could tell you a specific scripture to read that shined a light on why God was silent, but there was no magic verse. I was crying, screaming in pain and praying God to help me, when I realized the reason I could not hear Him speaking is He was holding me so tight His voice was muffled by my sobs and sorrow. I do not know why He is silent for you now, all I know is when we are suffering the most is when He is holding us the tightest. I know He knows my suffering remember His Son died too.

  • Jesse, I am with Gabriel in that I will not pretend to know the depth of your pain. Your honesty has touch deep in my soul, however. I am praying and will pray for you!!!!!

  • Dear Jesse,
    My heart hurts for you. I don’t know how long it’s been since you lost your son, but having lost our son in 1984 (he was 19) in a single car accident. No one else died and we’ve been thanksful for that. There are still times when he’s all I can think of. Very soon after he died we began a Bible study in our home for young singles, not really instigated by his home-going, but it kept us in God’s Word. There were times when I was outside on a clear day and I was sure that no one was out there, no one. Then we would spend time in scripture and every word rang true. I don’t quite understand all of that, but that time studying really kept me from walking away from the Lord.

  • Dear Jesse,
    My computer wouldn’t let me finish what I had written to you, so I would like to add this. Nahum 1:3b says, “His way is in the whirlwind and the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet.” I have been so thankful for that verse. I feel Jesus’ presence particularly on cloudy days. And then an article in Psychology Today magazine sometime in 1895 talked about something they called “shadow grief”, an on-going feeling of grief that never went awayfor people who lost a child. That has been very true for us, but we have found God to be faithful in many ways over these years since our son died. Hope I haven’t rambled on too much, we’ll pray for you in this difficult time.

  • Jesse,
    I have not lost a child, but the verse that rings in my heart for you is Job 13:15, “Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him.” It is the moment when our God strips us of everything we have hoped in and built our lives around and then demands the unthinkable…that we continue to hope, to trust, to believe in His goodness when everything is screaming that He is anything but. My prayer for you is borrowed from a woman who walked through a similar darkness and it is one that I have borrowed for myself many times, “Father, I pray that you would keep Jesse’s heart soft and turned towards you.” If you pray for nothing else, pray that He keeps your heart soft. In Matthew 11:1-6 and Luke 7:18-23 we see that when he was in prison, about to be beheaded, even John the Baptist, Jesus’ forerunner, doubted. Jesus response: “Blessed is he who does not fall away on account of me.” Jesus will offend us and He will offend what we believe about Him. But I say with Peter, “to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We believe and know that you are the Holy One of God.” (John 6:66-68) Where else will you go?

  • Jesse,
    My heart aches for you. I lost my husband to suicide almost 2 years ago and faced the darkest valley of my life. There were times I didn’t feel God’s presence and I had to realize that His presence was not dependent on my feelings. His Word is true and so whether I hear Him speak or not, I know that He has not forsaken me and that He will always be with me. I had to cling to the promises of the Word even when I didn’t see the evidence of them in my life. Remind God of these promises. He’s big enough to handle our anger He wants us to be real wtih Him.

    I think of the song, “You gives and takes away, but blessed be Your Name.” This is my prayer for you. I pray that even though you feel deserted and alone that you will still glorify our Father in Heaven and allow Him to carry you through these dark days.

  • I’m going through the same thing right now and typed in tired of waiting in google before I found this blog.
    I’ve been a christian for over 10yrs and have feared God since I was a child,have kept myself from fornication and still I’m close to my 30th birthday and I’m not even in a relationship.
    The people that have been coming are people I dont like and sometimes I feel maybe God wants me to take then like that but I have resolved that if God will not give me something good after waiting for him then he might as well not give me anything.
    I’m tired of waiting I’ve prayed,praised listened to messages and I’m tired.
    Sometimes I go to church and my Pastor tells me Pray,and wait but I want to hear wait from someone who is actually waiting.
    You cant have a loving husband and come and tell me just wait if u’re patient God will give you a husband so so.
    I wish I could give you a scripture or something to give you hope but I have none because myself I’m waiting but I’m fed up of it.
    If I knew anyother way I would have gone back on my faith but right now I’m stuck I dont know any other way to go except to Jesus, and so even if I’m going to stay single for the rest of my life I will not accept just any person to marry because someone says he’s God’s will for me.
    I thought by my 30th birthday If I’ve not met anyone, I will leave my country and start life elsewhere where noone knows me and start my life afresh.
    Sometimes I think I made a mistake trusting God with this area of my life.I should have dated all those people who asked all these years whether christians or not.
    I’m sorry Jesse I wish I didnt have to burden you with my fears but I want you to know you’re not alone in this there are others like me who have lost faith in their faith.
    I’m waiting now bcause I have no where else to go.

  • oh jesse, the pain is deep. have you considered reaching out to someone else who has lost a child? God lets us suffer so we can reach out to other humans who are or will be suffering what we suffer now. please reach out. it helps heal.

  • Hi
    I was just typing on Google “God:I’m Tired” and that’s when I saw this.I have been waiting..This is the 7th year for answers for something I prayed for in 2001 and I was chatting with a friend yesterday and he shared this with me.
    Malachi 3:3 And he shall sit as a refiner and purifier of silver: and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and purge them as gold and silver, that they may offer unto the LORD an offering in righteousness.

    End Result would be: Malachi 3:16,17 “Then they that feared the LORD spake often one to another: and the LORD hearkened, and heard it, and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that feared the LORD, and that thought upon his name.
    And they shall be mine, saith the LORD of hosts, in that day when I make up my jewels; and I will spare them, as a man spareth his own son that serveth him.”
    Hope this helps.Our God is a Good God and whatever be our situation though I am tired I will still praise God.
    Habakkuk 3:17 says:”Although the fig tree shall not blossom, neither shall fruit be in the vines; the labour of the olive shall fail, and the fields shall yield no meat; the flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls:”

  • People pray but do not hear.
    We ask for understanding but cannot see.

    God DOES speak. But we are trained to ask of the Lord, not to SEEK his FACE… that’s the part of him where the voice comes out.

    In searching the scriptures, we see that God does speak. I have lost a child. I have lost much more. God has often spoken and confirmed his word though.

    God speaks to us all differently at times.
    When you have several sources in life, UNRELATED and outside of your control and manipulation take you to, perhaps: the story of David and Goliath, a period of one or two days after you ask God to speak with you regarding a particular situation in your life… REST ASSURED that the God who directs the King’s heart, is speaking to yours.

    Be particularly suspect that God HAS answered you when you get a bunch of such pointers in a short period that seems to get so ridiculous… you have to start laughing out loud… “Goliath Moving and Storage” trucks may end up plowing into your car at an intersection if you don’t listen and get the picture. Dreams with a bag of five stones, over and over of them… grocery bags, women’s hand bags, concrete bags… whatever.

    Your bible opens to that particular chapter, or a cross reference repeatedly jumps up to your eyes, even from different books of the bible. A joke on the evening news about taking on Goliath… etc.

    To the point that somewhere you realize the first time that still small voice that made you want to look at that “david and goliath” story first came to you… and you will see that God may have sent you THAT story, EVEN BEFORE YOU ASKED HIM TO SPEAK.

    It’s always from or in alignment with his word. Never contrary to it. And yes, the answers came to my prayers, and I REFUSED TO GET IT… because I wanted a visible angel or some kind of handwritten note, to come to me… not out of stubbornness, but out of my NOT seeing God in the details… like when my pencil rolled off my desk, onto the floor, which I bent over to pick up three times, before I realized God was showing me where my lost file was at…

    the one I had perhaps asked him to help me find… two hours ago.

    God has answers.
    He does speak.
    But, we have NOT been trained to listen.
    I started writing down his answers and directions like that situation and the ones related to my loss… years ago. It would be a UNDER estimation if I were to say I only had a couple hundred of such incidents.

    Why are we not trained to listen?
    Because often religious leaders, THEY want to be God’s voice to US. THEY want to be honored, supported and elevated. OR they themselves have never heard or learned to hear from God themselves.

    As for your loss. I do get it.
    Ask God to heal our eyes so we can see his hand… the God of the trillions of ants and angels, none of whom we can see, has multiplied trillions of unseen ways to move the mountains out of your way to see clearly.

    Even though we walk by Faith and do not get the PHYSICAL sight.. or audible direction we crave, God who LOVES faith, and trust, is speaking and moving in our EVERY LIFE DETAIL.

    The god of this world, blinds our minds, to keep us from seeing God’s salvation or receiving his healing. When we don’t see and hear God, often with me, it is because I have been tricked back into blindness somewhere. I have been. And Satan works at doing this… not a little, but it is his evil ministry to do it professionally… and he has done it successfully to believers for millenia…HE is not only capable at blinding us… he has blinded men and women of God successfully for a lot longer than you or I will live.

    Unfortunately for the Devil, whenever we turn to the Lord and agree to let him help us see the unperceived direction he gives… that veil of blindness will be taken away. God will show you HOW to listen and see him at work. God is not the taker of life or vision or hearing.

    That is the enemy’s job description.

    Be blessed.
    God will find a way to open your eyes and ears. THAT is his job description… ask him to show you where he is speaking to you, and how.. then WRITE IT DOWN, like Scripture commands. Habakuk 2:2… do it for 90 days, and you will never ever ever be the same. God will show you.

    I have lost more than just a child…

  • Jesse,
    I am sorry for your loss and I can not even begin to imagine what you are going through. I can only speak on waiting on Father. There will be times when I am praying for something that is very important and what seems to be an immediate problem. He seems to ignore it but any other thing that I may just mention He immediately answers. When that happens I am happy but then a little confused because I believed the first thing I have been asking Him for was way more important. Sometimes it is something that I just want and I dont ask for it and He will give it to me. Again I am stunned and greatful but then again I really want Him to answer this other thing. I have discovered that He waits until I can take my mind off of that special thing and run hard after Him. Then and only then has he ever met that need. Although, hard I be honest in telling you that He only takes care of it when I give up and just rest in Him. That is often very very hard to do but I can testify that is what He waits for and does nothing until I put my mind on Him only.

  • Jesse, the very answer you seek may be in the question you ask. I am currently awaiting direction from God, so I googled “waiting for direction from God” and I stumbled (or maybe I was led) to this article. The question you ask has caused many people to not only meditate on an answer on your behalf, but also has sparked a consideration of God in each of our personal lives. Your struggle is causing others to see God in their lives. That means you are being used by God at this very moment, though you may not be aware of it. I don’t have an answer for you, but you have my assurance that you will be in my prayer, this night and every night going forward. God be with you all. Peace

  • JESSE,

  • i don’t know what to say but i feel puting down something would help relieve me of my own pains. in all that we go thru in life God knows. i song writer said ” He knows, He sees, He feels what You feel He is the only one He cares for you” On the 22nd of October i lost Chikwesiriotito, you know what that name means, God is worthy to be praised, will i now say He is not worthy to be praised no never. before his death i had tumour exision on my femur right now i am on cluthches.it seems to me my situation is speaking contrary to the promises, i cry honestly i weep, i am always downcast the pages of the bible seems to be letters in ink, i ask God questions sometimes but my sister jesse, GOD is still one we can trust. He is not far away. if He can bring you to it He will see you thru it. The truth is that the trauma of losing a child seems difficult to go away but be assured that if the pains is more than the glory God won’t let it come. psalm 71 vs 20-24 has been my sucour no matter what my present condition is saying i know He will confort me on every side. so don’t give up cheer up. God is a friend that sticket closer than a brother. relax he will wipe your tears

  • My Dearest Elizabeth,
    I empathize with you in your loss. I lost my baby Oct. 29 2006 I have no answers to why. I know what it’s like to read all God’s promises and feel betrayed. It doesn’t seem right and I based my whole life trusting it. Everyone doubts. Even Jesus on the cross said “Why have you forsaken me.”
    I’m going to pray for you. Take it day by day and find whatever peace comes your way. Sometimes it’s just little raindrops. The word says. “My grace is sufficient for thee” I have suffered many nights telling God, No it’s not enough Help me more. Thank you for your wonderful words. It’s not easy to stand strong in faith when so much pain cripples us.
    You are a beautiful treasure of God. To reach out to me when you are suffering so much is a revelations of mercy. I imagine you to be quite graceful.
    This website is an incredible witness to me. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ but few display small measures of kindness. I have found comfort in how strangers reached out to me.
    I am slowly moving toward God again. You are a testament to how that’s possible. In this season when we are to celebrate the birth of our savior, I grieve deeply. I’m grateful for friends I have never met who extend encouraging scriptures. God’s word is all we have. Elizabeth, you have gained your strength from those powerful words. I hope to follow your lead.
    You know if you have an off day and his master plan is not so clear, it really is okay. I learned that I need to be reassured sometimes. I lean on other people’s faith (Seth) some days.
    Hopefully one day someone will be able to lean on mine. It’s a long process of healing, isn’t it.
    I will pray for you on Christmas Day. How beautiful that you named your child Chikwesiriotito. You are right. God is worthy of being praised. How awesome are you that you still seek and praise.
    I do believe there is an amazing crown awaiting. God Bless you!

  • My words may seem harsh, but I pray that you will see the truth in what I am about to explain. My heart is to see you set free from your pain by knowing the truth, seeing life and death as God sees it.

    My heart is to see you free in a loving relationship with God, not one where you are angry or hurt at God.Nothing should get in the way of your relationship with God and Satan will distort the truth. That Distorted truth will hurt you.

    God spoke to me many years ago whilst cooking my kids dinner one day. He started talking to me about Job. I had heard many sermons about him, how Satan tested him etc but God gave me a deeper truth and understanding that day that will set people free from the terrible grief of losing a child, or anyone else.

    He told me this ” Job started off by losing his children, they all died at once, but “in all this, Job did not sin”. It was only after a period of time, when God fell silent did Job start sinning.He started by reasoning things out himself and talking about “how good” he was and “how could God do this to me”.

    When God showed up at the end of the book of job I was amazed at what happened. Here was a guy who had just gone through a terrible time, his business had gone, all his kids had been killed and he was seriously ill….it couldnt get any worse.But God did not show up with tea and sympathy. There was no “there, there Job, I know it must be bad, I am here to comfort you” Instead we see a God who says “who are you Job to question me?” We then see line after line of God making it absolutly clear to Job just who He is.I thought , at 1st, this was SERIOUSLY harsh treatment from a “so called loving God”

    As I stood in my kitchen God showed me a vision. I saw the spirit of Job go from a man being so sure he had every right by being angry with God, to being a man so humble. I saw a man who thought he had lost everything, to realise he had lost nothing as nothing belong to him in the 1st place. Job did not create life. He did put that spark of a human spirit in his children. Job did not make those cells divide. The Creator God did, and put Job in his place by showing him just who is in control, and Job had to let go of the ropes.Job had to repent. Job had to know his place next to God the creator of all life who has a right to do what he wants when He wants.

    Our days are numbered.God has said so in His word. We need to enjoy every blessed day He gives us and thank Him when that last day comes, that He has allowed us to part take in some one elses life, a life He made, a life that came from Him.And a life He choses to take home when He wants.

    When we see the truth in this our hurt goes, and our grief subsides. Nolonger do we feel like we are missing out of our childs life……there wasnt meant to be more….God had ordained our days before we were even born.Yes we will miss them but we have no right to be angry. No point in thinking “they would be 18 now” or “they would be just starting school now”….God had different plans before that child was even born.

    “We do not grieve as the world grieves” Do not view life and death as the world views it. Know just who God is and let go……let go………let go……….and know God…….GOD…AWESOME GOD, CREATOR OF ALL LIFE, WORTHY TO BE PRAISED ABOVE ALL ELSE, NO IDOLS TO BE SET BEFORE HIM.

    I pray with all my heart that this truth will set you free, that you will see that in “human terms” it sounds really harsh but it has the power to release you from your grief.We do not “own” our children, they are not ours because we did not create them, God did. They belong to Him and only Him.

    Job learnt this lesson, he had to repent before he could really move on with God. I think this has to be one of the hardest lessons to learn in the bible, one I have never heard preached on.

    I pray it will truly help you.

    Godbless you

  • I am a Christian American woman with a precious daughter living in Iran for the last 11 yrs. My husband was Iranian, very abusive but he reminded me so much of my father who also was abusive so I went against Almighty GOD the lover of my soul and spent 26 horrible yrs with him. My life from age 5 up until now at the age of 58 has been pain,pain & more pain . I have loved GOD every since I was a young child but I have made so many stupid choices & had to pay dearly for them BUT & my I add BUT GOD has never left me even in the mist of my terrible storms. Here were some of my storms

    a terrible action from a mule on my fathers farm when I was 5 & almost lost my life

    father died at 38 I was 15 & my mother went crazy & I was left taking care of my 3 brothers

    head on car accident age 17 in a coma for 2 weeks & my left hip & leg crushed in a body cast for 6 mths

    I lost 6 babies because my husband didn’t want any children but praise GOD I have my precious daughter that he gave me

    I have tried to kill myself 3 times


    my Iranian husband died a horrible death 3 yrs ago without Jesus, hating both me & my daughter & only loving his money

    my husbands Iranian family tried to take everything we had & destoryed my daugter’s mind & heart when they took her father & we could not see him before he died BUT GOD STEPPED IN!!!!!!




  • The Lord is good and His faithfulness endures forever. Sisters and Brothers, I pray the Lord will restore all thigs to you in His season very soon, may the peace that transcends all understanding guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus. God Bless you and I pray the Lord will comfort your heart and may your blessed redeemer, our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, may He continue to pour His glory, countenance upon you. I bind any discouragement from this part of the Body of Christ. I pray the blessing of the Lord. May He richly bless each one of you with peace and may the joy of The Lord fills you a fresh. May His goodness reigh in your spouses and children. Blessings my brothers and sisters.

    In Jesus Name

  • It has been inspirational to meditate on what people of God have to say.

    All I can say is; if you are trusting God and he is silent, be patient and sooner or later, you will understand why; Thank him continuously!!!

  • I’m going through this right now and I’ve been going through my trial for about a year. Out of work, no transportation, selling my place without anyplace to go once its sold nor with the money to move. Trust me, I’m in a tough situation.

    I’ve been praying without ceasing and crying out to God. What I’ve learned is that God does speak, but He may not give an immediate answer.He’s more concerned with our closeness to Him opposed to our bank accounts. If He answered right away, there would be no spiritual growth for the church. He likes us to wait upon Him. If you are saved and you are clinging to Jesus, through prayer, obedience, deep not surface Bible reading, your next step is the challenge of waiting.

    In the end it is an issue of faith. Do you believe God is in control? Do you believe God is good? If so, than whats the problem. Maybe you don’t trust Him the way He wants you to and thats what He wants, trust me. He doesn’t like when His children doesn’t trust Him. You feel God putting pressure on you and its painful. Don’t try to escape by seeking other things other than God like your resources. Like a pearl is pressurized, like gold is refined, so does the Christian has to be purged. It was true of Job, it was true of Paul, it was true of Peter, and it has to be true of you. Christianity is a religion of suffering not comfort.

    If you are saved and you know it, you need to cling to these versus like a you’ve never had to before:

    The righteous cry and the Lord heareth, and delivereth them out of all their trouble. Psalms 34:17

    And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

    Casting all your cares upon Him; for He careth for you. IPeter 5:7

    And let us not become weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap if we faint not. Galatians 6:9

    Do you believe it?

  • Good to have such love and comfort through God’s Holy word. I pray it encourages, comforts and restores all that come across it like did.God Bless you all who have contributed.

  • So Jesse, what has happened since? What can you say is “true” and “untrue” now?

    Besides the question, a lil side note: I heard a Pastor say he prayed for his dad (also a Pastor) to be healed of cancer, but finally died. And when asking for a “why” God taught him that he could ask for a “pay back”. It was “unlawful” for that cancer to remain disobedient to the Word, so then he demands restitution. Also that after trying to move that “rock”, smaller “rocks” move easier. He claims that the increase in his effectiveness in prayer vs. cancer has also been increasing. BTW his name is Bill Johnson, from Bethel Church in Reding, CA.

  • I did not lose a child; I was never given the precious gift of *having* a child. Now I am at an age it is highly unlikely to ever happen.

    Everytime I see a baby I feel a deep longing to hold them and love them, I feel a loss that will never be comforted, I feel I was deprived of something that would have brought deep joy to my heart…given me someone to love and be loved by!!!

    I am also not married, and have gone through great loneliness though I could have casual sex but won’t because of my Christianity.

    I am just posting this to add that along with losing a child you had, there is the terrible suffering of longing for a child you will probably never have.

    One last thing: thank you to all who posted…there were many encouraging words!!!

  • Cara,

    I suggest that you find a way to become involved with an orphanage. There are so many wonderful orphans who would love to have you as a mom.

  • I have waited for 15 years for a child. I have lost three all before 11 weeks of conception. I have prayed, claimed, trusted and received promises and prophecies year after year. I know God loves me and wants me to have children. He commanded man to be fruitful,Jesus earned it for me on the cross, the promises of Abraham are for all believers, Proverbs says a barren womb is never satisfied. My husband feels old and it has affected him physically and emotionally, I am tired of waiting, of avoiding old friends, just living as if I am cursed. Help me, pray for me.I need it

  • no one ever wants to wait, everyone wants his/her desire as early as he can imagine.but God in his divinity knows all things.waiting on the Lord is a moment of the test of our faith in Him.when God seems salience in our worse situation, it means He’s really at work on our behalf. friends let all know that God will never live nor forsake us even when we loss all we may have.the salience of God is never His absence, remember He is the very present help in time of need. let us not think that we only have meaning to life when we have what we may be looking for, but know that Christ is the fullness of all things.waiting will be pleasant to us if only we know we are in the center of God’s will for our life.only pray to God to help you attain the lessons he’s teaching you in the moment of waiting and you will come out fully prepared for his wonderful blessing. Amen.!!!!

  • I would like to thank each and every one of you for your responses. I am not sure where you are in this day and time but please know that God has used you all to speak to me and many others seeking relief in “God’s Waiting Room”. This what I have learned through the scripture of reference, comments and prayers that you each have left.

    1. God loves for real. That is why it is imperative that we trust Him:

    He led me to this post to show me that although my pain is present, others are and have suffered far greater loss than my anticipated losses. I say anticipated because I am not without a home, money, transportation, food, health, a child or love. Today, I still have all these things. I may not have money in excess but I am not completely broke. My fear is in the anticipation of loss because I only loss my job. Which means I am not trusting in God to sustain or provide for me. I am so used to relying on “me” that I am confusing faith with what I can do for myself and others around me. When I read your posts, I have to shake my head and I feel embarrassed to even think that anything I am going through right now can compare to some of your stories who have “gone through”. I asked the Lord to forgive me because I have compared myself to the likes of Job in this day and time when I have and nothing has been taken from me. Whatever I don’t have I walked away from willingly and it was not something that I suffered in losing. My last relationship, I walked away because it was not a Godly relationship. My job, they fired me but it had began to consume so much of my life that my child and everything else was being neglected and even before I lost my job, God sent my mother to tell me it was going to happen and why. So he prepared me. Right when I lost my job, I had caught up my car note when all the time I had this job I was behind, but when I lose the job, I am caught up? Only God can do these things, lol!! Taking the foolish things and confounding the wise. I laugh now because I paid my tithes with my last check and my cell phone gets turned off because I paid my tithes and bought grocery and items for me and my daughter, I could have paid my cell phone but I chose not to because it is a luxury not a necessity. How cushioned I am in comparison to some of your testimonies! I am made to fill ashamed for complaining about a discomfort I haven’t began to feel yet. Cry out when the bank repossess the car, the house, when I have no food in the cupboards, when the utilities are shut off, when there is no clothes to put on my family’s back but now is not the time to cry! Not over a little fear of what may come! I praise God that I am blessed and highly favored and will not complain about my life but stop right now to pray for each and every one of you that in your worst trial God used you today from the year 2007 to 2011 to remind me that it is not earthly treasures and comfort we should seek but to be naked before God Jehovah always. To be empty always. To be reliant on Him always for everything because our homes, cars, children, possessions are not ours, it is the Lords as the earth is and the fullness thereof. Your lost is gain. Your suffering is peace. Your wisdom and jewel and treasure to me and many more like me who fear anything and anyone other than God. Thank you for blessing my soul today! I pray that God restore each and everyone of you according to His Will 100 times more! If you have lost a child/children or want them, I pray he fill your hearts and homes with spiritual children, orphans and foster children. If you are homeless, please know I have been there. You may have lost your own but God will not see you without a roof over your head you can bank on that. You time will come to be restored. Praise God and thank you Jesus for the awesome ness of being a part of God’s kingdom! Amen!

  • It is four years now since I start paryning no answer to date.

    It seems to me as fallen human being I am

    God konws the following

    1.whatever turn out good we will give him thanks

    2.If it turn out bad we do not have any where to go but him.

    he knows we do not have

  • It is four years now since I start paryning no answer to date.

    It seems to me as fallen human being I am

    God konws the following

    1.whatever turn out good we will give him thanks

    2.If it turn out bad we do not have any where to go but him.

    he knows we do not have

  • I did like may others here typed in “I’m so tired of waiting for God!!” I am a Christian, I study my bible, live each day wanting to be closer to God, and know that Jesus Christ is the only way. But I tell you, I’m struggling, while others are flourishing, I work very hard, honor my parents, help others, and always give thanks for everything I have. I look around and wonder why is it I have to struggle. When is it my time to have God answer my prayers, and I know the verses, I know it say those who wait on the Lord….When???? Is it wrong to want to have blessing now. Perhaps I should follow what is said in the bible, Ask and ye shall receive, apparently I don’t get this phrase because it hasn’t worked for me. He will never forsake me, I feel like I’m alone in this big world, more than that I really feel that God has turned a deaf ear on me, and just don’t understand why?!?!!!!!!

  • Hey, am encouraged by reading all of the comments posted above.
    Am a christian single girl, turned 30 and has been longing for a godly, and ordained relationship for marriage but there has been no progress.
    i started praying for a husband when i was 22. i have prayed pleaded with God but most of the time He seems so silent about it.
    I have gone through moments of blaming myself, of my past mistakes and failures. Sometimes i feel God is out to punish me. Sometimes i feel it is a curse on our family( my elder sister is not married too).
    Every time i meet someone i think i might be interested in am turned down. plus i have to turn away many who are not believers.

    I have had visions (I believe from God) of seeing myself blessed with beautiful kids, husband and home, but as time passes by, they just seem like fantasies.
    Please pray with me, as the issue has lingered on for such a long time that I DON’T WANT TO PRAY FOR A SPOUSE ANYMORE.

    I love God and do not know anywhere to go for a remedy.

  • Seth, regards to post 39

    about the facebook dating app, that is not answered prayer. that is some cheesy way to hookup people. that shouldn’t be God’s way of doing things.

    If you find someone through that app, that’s not God, that is you and it’s cheap.

    when you meet someone God has prepared, you should know it’s from God, not from some gimicky app.

    I’ve read both posts of the original thread and THERE WAS NO ANSWERED PRAYER. we’re just making excuses for a God that did not answer prayer.

  • Pft. You know what I have yet to see anyone provide an answer to this simple question: why oh WHY would any father put a snake in the playpen with his “children”? WHY?

    Don’t give me that “divine plan” BS or “We can’t see his purpose” crap. It comes down to does he love us or does he not? If we are in fact his children, then why did he put a horrific beast like satan in our cribs? A snake?

    And furthermore, God IS silent. Don’t give me that crap about “oh the Lord works in MYSTERIOUS WAYS” etc. This opening poster has a great and VALID point. You turn to God, you pray, you trust with EVERYTHING You can. And I’m so SICK of these frigging high horse butthole saying “oh you must be SINNING so God isn’t helping you”. BS. The faith of a “mustard seed” is sposed to see us through. When we’re in pain and have experienced loss as I and the opening poster have, we hold on with EVERYTHING WE HAVE. Let God come down ehre for REAL this time, not knowing who’s son he is and see how long he really lasts.

  • Hello..
    my husband has been through a lot in his life and always believed and always justified all misfortunes that happened to him blaming himself or circumstances and excusing God. He is very intelligent and a good man but if he had no bad luck he would have no luck at all.. He prayed and asked God for directions, he asked before making important decissions and believed they were right. Unfortunately all his decissions were the opposite to anything good. He believed in all promises from the Bible: knock and it will be answered, believe and you will receive, God loves us, by His strives we’ve been healed etc. He feels really desperate right now.. extremely disappointed and crushed.. He loves astronomy and looking and the photographs of the space he cannot justify God who created all that but doesn’t want to spare one answer or one crumb of his table. His point is.. if a father looked at his little son being abused by some bullies and not acted to save his child, a son would be taken away from such a father who doesn’t take care of his child.
    My husband John used to believe and defend God at every opportunity and usually he would make people think and admit that ‘you might be right’. Right now he is so bitter and says that he is sorry for the Angels since it says in the Bible that ‘God loves us more than the Angels’.. He thinks that there is no God or perhaps a cruel God who playes with peoples lives.. who unleashed satan – the bully whom he created btw. and let him abuse us. His biggest question is ‘where is that pure love that God is supposed to be?’
    I feel like an empty shell and have no more words to offer to my John because all I can say is what I feel or quote the same Bible verses which he knows but thinks are not real.. he tinks they are lies written by men to control and live off other men..
    Can anyone help?

  • You bet I can, not because I’m someone who is ready to hand John a story of how my blessing came, because those certain things that I’m praying for, I’m still waiting on. I can offer John my journey of frustrations, and my anchors. I too most certainly understand the frustrations, I pray seemingly all the time, I help whoever I can, when others are down I tell them to trust him, funny thing is that the blessing seem to have come for them, but I often feel left out, sometimes I betrayed, I bet John feels this way. But , John has been chosen for a task, hard as it may seem count it all joy that the trials he is going through will produce much (James Chapter 1), not fair, believe me I know, but I also remember that not me, nor John or anyone needs to believe that he/she is more than the master, and if Jesus went through all that he did, surely me, John and those who have taken up the cross have to be open to going through the trials. The wonderful truth is God loves us, and he promises to bring us out, he promises that every disappointment, feeling of betrayal, all will work for the good to those who love and trust him. John, my brother, don’t feel alone, I too stand over this PC typing this to you, with a pile of bills I’m trying to sort out, prayers to save my home, prayers to God to help me, and I know he will. Oh, there are days where I just want to scream to the heavens and tell him how unfair it is that others who seem less faithful receive blessings when I seem to be on my knees , but I know he’s preparing something for me, and John don’t you quit on him, that’s what Satan told him you would do, but God, perhaps working through my frustration and experience I’m sharing with you, told Satan that he knows John, and he will stay the course. Don’t fall my brother, I too am in the storm, but I know, that he’s making a way for us. There’s a gospel song by a man name Donnie McClurkin, you may have heard it, but if you haven’t go to youtube and listen to it, remember what we’ve been told to keep praying, never stop, Jesus did. I figure I’ll stop believing when I go through more than the Master, and I believe that speaks for itself. Tell my dear brother John, that I awaken this morning praying for my trials, but if it must be, I offer to step behind John, I most certainly don’t want to lose having a faithful brother like him. Stand my brother John, just stand, he told us he won’t ever forsake us. In my prayers I’ll keep you.

  • Kat,

    I can offer your husband hope in the only real way possible. I can’t say that God will answer your husbands prayers in the way he wants them answered. But I can say I know EXACTLY what he is going through. I have time for only a short response but God is testing him and purifying him. It is a heart surgery of some sort. God 3 years ago after, I got laid off told me to not look for a job and that he would provide. I trusted him and got royall screwed(seemingly). I depleted all my savings, 401k, took out another loan against my car,built massive credit card debt, almost went bankrupt 2 years ago, applied for food stamps and now currently months away from bankruptcy…. all because I followed God. Pretty much my whole life, I tried to do the right thing and I always got screwed. God after decades of silence has finally show me why. The suffering hurts but not knowing hurts even more.

    my email is [email protected], I strongly urge your husband to email me.

  • During the most difficult time in my life and starting to wonder if God had forgotten me, I finally poured out my heart to him and in doing so came the following poem. What I realized after I wrote it was, it was the working it out with him that finally brought me peace. Not an actual answer but the relationship with him.
    I pray it can be of some comfort to you.


    Somethings amiss Lord and I want you to know An agonizing confliction deep in my soul You said if I get weary, you would give me rest Can I put up your words to my feeble test?

    You see I have done all you have asked me to do I’ve offered my life as a sacrifice to you I’m going to church and I help with the poor I bless those that curse me and I forgive til I’m sore

    But my heart is still heavy and try as I might I can’t lay it all down yet and give up this fight The day that you called me I vowed to be true But the world is there and its calling me too

    It’s those endless questions of what is your will? Did you say to keep going or did you say to be still? And the temptations they come and what shall I do? The circles I run in when it’s all up to you

    The conviction I feel when you say not to touch To let go of the things that mattered so much The rejection I feel when it’s never for me The ache in my soul of things that can’t be

    The world as I know it is fading away Gone are the people I long to have stay I am awake to the things that were holding me back Its just hard to move in, hard to unpack

    I am afraid I will fail, afraid I will quit wanting to go but scared to commit Your standard so high, how could I measure? I may break under the weight of all this pressure

    I asked you to change me, to transform my heart Pull back the layers and peel me apart I didn’t know Lord what I was asking I didn’t know then all the things I was lacking

    Please don’t think I haven’t see your grace Or the miricles you’ve done in front of my face But here we are at the fork in the road A chance for a story that’s never been told

    With tears in my eyes I ask for your mercy To give me a cup and make me thirsty You call to my mind a time long ago when I was living for nothing and I reaped what I sowed

    A time when my heart was separate from yours my soul in turmoil and my mind was at war And even now when the confusion sets in I remembered the life when I was living in sin

    How you forgave me and set my heart free To live life as you intended it to be You gave your son to die on a cross The price you paid to redeem the lost

    So here now I sit with my head to your feet Not worthy to know you not worthy to meet Forgive me Father for all of these doubts Thank you for patience as I figure this out

    My mind starts to marvel and I stand in awe At the light of your being that outshines us all I may never understand just what this is A father in Heaven who is calling me his

    Who accepts what is broken and heals me with love Who never brings up all the things I have done You touch my face and you speak so tender You remind me of why I chose to surrender

    A life filled with peace, with joy and with love An eternity in heaven seated above I am yours forever and I give up this fight The darkeness moves over and I only see light

  • Hope you’re husband is waving off the devil’s attempts, I am so much who needs a fan 🙂 In all seriousness I have kept him in my prayers, still and will hope you keep me in yours. It’s a battle but long worth it, I find the greatest comfort in Proverbs 3:5 knowing that it is only my task to allow God to drive my life, and even when I get anxious to take the wheel, I have to remember “don’t”; this is the hard part and I must admit sometimes I take, but always seem to crash. So I’ll concentrate more on being God’s passenger and going to him in the name of Jesus to reassure that I’ll wait for his time and take assurance that he says all things will work for the good. Peace- Aleck

  • I have not lose anyone that close but I have been wondering about the same thing…I think it is the pain that you know He could take away or never placed there to begin with… you feel trapped in this world. like a lab rat being feed your daily dose of pain. You cry out for help you try to do what He requires and still more pain. You wish you were never born, that you had died at birth because life is just a death trap anyway it’s just taken you longer than some to find your cheese. I have decided to stay away from the world for a bit…I tried going out a few days ago to do God will and work and was rewarded with a heavy dose of pain again. I guess that is what Jesus went through…so we are to swallow our medicine and shout our mouth and wait for death too. I have found that year after year I am more and more disappointed and abused in life. I wish I could encourage you but life has broken me too. Hope is all we truly have in life…’I hope God truly loves me although I can’t see or feel it right now’ through the pain’.
    May God give you peace once more!

  • Necie, If you’ll come by our place, we’ll pray for you and help you seek God for a breakthru. Sometimes it’s just too much weight to carry by yourself.

  • I feel like sometimes God is putting me through a serious test in life. Im trying to change my life of ways around but its hard. Im worried and f ocous on what People may say bout’ me and this and that. Then one while I want this fame and one while I dont (I dont know what I want in life. Then the devil like to tempt me alot about selling my soul *And everything would be okay*.Also sometimes I feel like God dont like me- So if God didn’t like me so much why did he put me on this earth-? I do lie trying to change that. I GOT Baptize when I was little. I just want a close relationship w/ God. WHAT DO I DO? CAN ANYBODY HELP ME?

    • April, God loves you. Just the way you are. You are the apple of his eye. You don’t have to DO anything. Just receive from him. Do you have anyone who can pray for you?

  • This morning I awoke with a dark shadow of depression and sadness. I have been attacked emotionally more and more after being born-again. God visited me late last year and said that He has seen what the enemy has been doing to me and that He would stop him and help me to recover. That He would give me back what was taken from me with double payment for my suffering, but He has not done it yet and I am losing faith. I was on a happy high for about two weeks after His visitation. Then I had a dream that dark forces would come and try to destroy my peace and so it happened as the dream indicated a few days after. I am also very lonely just turning 41 with out a husband and child. Something that I asked God for as a child. Instead I got a man who I thought was a Godly leader in my church who abused and victimized me emotionally and spiritually for 3 years. Last week God was blessing me just about each day with special gifts. Although I was emotionally sad inside He was given me bold love gifts to let me know He was near and that He cares greatly for me. However, I have to say I awoke this morning feeling like I wish I was never placed on this earth. I feel sorry for all the new born baby girls on this earth. ‘ I wish I could encourage you today April…but God has yet to remove my pain of 4 plus years. I will let you know when He does’, then I can have some encouraging words for you. (He does speak to us in dreams at times to encourage us through the pain. You can buy and download this book from Amazon ‘The Way of Dreams and Visions Symbol Dictionary’ by Colette Toach.) I pray that God will help you to heal today!

  • God helps for sure, but He has not babied me so I would guess He will not baby you. Look at all the movie stars out there that have died when they give in to demons. You have to have a thick skin in this world or you will be taken out one way or another.
    Depression follows many of us and God helps in His own timing not ours. You have to be a non-compromising Saint to make it and some die trying. Life is not fun and there is no joy that I have found these days. Most days I have to force myself to smile but inside I feel like dying. You feel forced to be on this earth like it is one big prison most days.
    I remember when God released me from my pain in 2009. He did it with just one sentence. God said to me ‘You never know him’. That is how powerful God is one thought and I was freed from the pain. I believe I would have died if He did not break that stronghold my ex-ex-boyfriend had on my mind. I had stop eating solid food for about two weeks and I could hardly walk due to lack of substance. When I found out that he had been seeing me and another girl for the past 3 years. God had showed me the girl in a dream the very same year I started dating him. She lead me to the basement of a house and opened a back door and said to me come let me show you something. As I went out the door the world changed and I saw multitudes of people. All standing in one direction, but their where so many more on the ground bent over crying in pain. Then I heard a voice say. All who are standing are those who have passed the test and a number was told to me. Then I found myself standing with the few and we all faced men in white robes. One had a scroll in his hand so I walked up to him and asked, did I pass the test. He looked then another man came up behind him and pointed his finger at the scroll, and the man with the scroll shacked his head motioning that I had pass the test. As I went back with the others I looked down at my feet and say my ex-boyfriend he was on the ground in pain with the others that had not passed the test. (Yet I did not understand that dream at the time and I allowed him into my life.) God freed me completely and I was born again that year in 2009.
    Then a few months later I met the Minster in my church. We dated in 2010 on and off for 3 years. He almost destroyed my mind. I had never dated an emotional abuser before, but I met one on the pulpit. Strangely God warned me in a dream beforehand about his spiritual depravity too but I did not understand that dream either and I feel into another emotional trap. (If I told you that dream it would blow your mind.)
    You will have to ask God to lead you not into temptation and deliver you from the evil ones. Pray to Him often; buy a lot of tissue for your tears and fight to get through the days of pain. Many of us are alone, God is there but you cannot touch him and lets face it when you talk to him He does not verbally talk back to you or touch you like a man or woman would, no matter what other believers say. (He does send angels to shake you up out of bad dreams, and visit you just before you awake at times calling your name. One time I heard a horse trotting away from my car one morning just as I was waking up from a night of crying in my car over a childhood relationship I just knew God was protecting me and looking over me that night.) Last year He visited me in my bedroom with an invisible presence of love. I never experienced that before ever. I just know I was deeply loved by God that night and I had a love joy that lasted about two weeks. Then I had a dream that the devil was going to come to take my joy away and he did and sadness consumed me once again.
    The devil hates us. Why? Because God loves us, because we are on earth and he is in hell, he wants us to fall like he has or if not to have a miserable life. Misery loves company. The devil will always try to get you to compromise by putting thoughts in your head.
    You have to know God loves you in side of you. You have to have a relationship with him inside of you. You have to know He knows how you hurt and He feels your pain. He created us and took his time to form us with his hands. He made our souls in his secret place in heaven where He makes souls and then place them into bodies on earth, so each of us are uniquely crafted by him, Gods own personal diamonds and we never die, even when we are not on this earth we live. You have to be baptized inside of your soul and know these things.
    These days I have been dreaming about being attacked by evil forces. God lets me know these things because he has blessed me with the gift of discernment of spirits and other gifts of the spirit. So as He explained to me through others who also have this gift, the devil has been attacking me emotionally from a child because I am a mighty worrier for His kingdom. ‘With great power comes great responsibility and great attacks. The devil would never try so hard to take you out if you were in his camp, ‘remember this in life’. God has given you many spiritual gifts to help you through this life but you have to search for them and find them. Ask Jesus if He would save you, and watch His love for you start to control your very thought patterns. You will still sin at times, and you will really get tested and sifted like wheat. You will need some tissue, and the devil and the world will tempt and test your faith, and try to make your life a living hell on earth but God will help you and deliver you in His timing and will and then God will greatly rewarded you for your endurance and faith to trust His will for your life and yes sometimes you may wish you were never born. What I try to remember these days is that life on this earth is very short, and so the pain of life is very short, and the pleasures of life is all some will ever have, but the joy of eternity with Christ is never-ending. (Ask Jesus to help you to see as He sees and as He sees youHe will.) I am having a long low right now but He promised me a high and God is not a man that He should lie what He says He would do He always do. I will pray for your salvation He loves to answer his childrens prayers. God loves you very more!
    You must know your enemy to fight him. Read your bible daily and here is a link to see how the devil tries to destroy our lives. http://www.divinerevelations.info/how_satan_stops_our_prayers/index.htm

  • I lost my son 4/22/07. I love God. He gave me an awesome son for 20 years. He has my son so I am no longer worried about him. I have 3 other kids and Mikey is the only one I don’t have to worry about anymore. I am here for some reason. When I have finished my role in God’s plan, I will go Home and be with my son again… for eternity. What is even 75-80 years compared to eternity? For a thousand years to God is like a day or the passing of a night. If this is so, we will be back with our children in less than “a day”. When we are finally Home, all of this pain will be forgotten. No more fear, tears or sorrow. I can wait a few more years for that.

  • LOL! You have no idea how part of this post spoke to me, here in 2015.

    I had a daily prophetic message today that there will be hidden prophetic messages somewhere.

    In March, the Lord gave me two visions on one day. I saw Him behind a kitchen counter, with a square orange plate with rounded edges in front of Him. He was assembling all elements of a fine-dining dish. In January, I attended a prophetic meeting in which a prophet told me she saw the Lord busy cooking in a kitchen and that the food was not ready yet. I remembered what she told me a few days after the vision.

    In the second vision the Lord gave me, I was in a dark weaving room with the Lord. I was standing with Him behind an old wooden table. On the table, was a bundle of different strands of wool in rainbow colours. They were tangled, but were arranged in a straight horizontal line across table. I saw the hand of the Lord taking hold of the strands, and this time they were vertical, with the end at our side. When I looked at the rope, it was magically transformed into a beautiful, three-stranded, woven, multicoloured, woollen rope. It looked like a braid.

    I laughed when I read your comment on the woven rope and the pots cooking.

    I have been seeking the Lord about a promise He made me three years ago. I have been waiting for fourteen years for such a thing.

    Today, I was struggling with the waiting aspect. I was asking God that, in His love and mercy, He will show me when He will make the promise true in my life. I said I will never ask Him on timing for any other promise He made me for my life. He responded by leading me to this website, where I found your comment. He reminded me of a prophetic word I was given also in January, that it will happen in this year.


    ” It is the glory of God to conceal a matter, but it is the glory of kings to search it out. ”

  • I know pain. I was sexually abused, became addicted to pornography and later became a prostitute because I had to eat and my family didn’t really care whether I made it or not. Christ found me when I was 24, and it has been a journey ever since.

    One thing I find strange in the Body of Christ worldwide, is that we are taught that we should never compare ourselves, our lives and our callings with another.

    Yet, on the other hand, when we complain about our pain, we are constantly reminded by others that there are people with bigger problems, more pain.

    It’s contradicting, and confusing. I believe we are taught to minimize our pain and suffering by surpressing it.

    This is a message to everyone in the Body of Christ – especially church leaders/counselors. We should not trivialize people’s pain by giving them slogans, trite answers and berating them with Scriptures.

    Life does hit hard and it gets too much. People lose focus of God and His Word. It happens. It is hard to constantly remind oneself of the love of God when all you see is negativity. That is when it becomes difficult to hear His voice.

    A loving Heavenly Father will never stop speaking to you when you’re in pain. He does speak, but you have to really quiet yourself and focus on hearing His voice. You have to expect Him to speak and you will hear Him.

    Like I said – I know pain. And it is hard to renew your mind from negative inner dialogue when you can’t hear God speaking to you. Because how are you going to believe if you don’t hear?

    No matter the pain, you have to search Him out. Seek Him. Scream. Yell. Feel your pain. God is not telling you to suck it up. Don’t let others tell you to.

  • Oh no, honey – I’m not offended, if that’s what you think. 🙂 All glory be to the Lord God Almighty. I’ve just suffered through a lot of bad circumstances, and I’m still not out of it. I struggle daily, too, to renew my mind with God’s truth and not the negative thoughts the adversary throws at me. Most days I’m not successful. I question God a lot, but I still believe in His goodness, love and mercy. One thing I absolutely detest, is Christians patting me on the back with a ” God is in control “, when my rent needs paying or I’m suffering emotionally, and going on their merry way. God has been faithful, though. He has not left me or emotionally abandoned me, even though most days I don’t sense His presence. I try to stay in the Word by listening to sermons and researching human suffering and God’s response to it. It is not enough to just read the written Word of God. We need revelation, His “rhema” of the “logos”. It is vital to our spiritual health.

  • No offense taken. I agree with you totally. I have been in a very long and fiery trial. God has shown His faithfulness not by clearing the smoke or putting out the fire but walking around in it with me. The difference is after being in it for so long, I’m not consumed by the fire. I’m not afraid to stand in the midst of it because standing is all that I can do at this point. My hope is in Him. The Sovereign Lord. I hurt but I’m not rent with despair. I can honestly say, I can’t testify of a God that heals if my faith has never made me whole. I can’t testify of my God’s abilities if I’ve not experienced first hand the fear in falling only to be caught and carried safely out of harms way. I have been to rock bottom and God came to where I was and lifted me out of the pit by no other explanation or reasoning and for no other purpose save His own. Christ, without sin suffered. I’m not without sin. I die to my flesh daily. I count it all joy that I suffer in this life as my Father in heaven promises it’s only for a season and I believe that.

  • Wow! I have been really blessed by the candidness of some people’s comment and journey of faith. I enjoyed the analogy of weaving and cooking pots and Marlyn undiluted truth as it resonates with me.

  • Marlyn its been a pleasure going tru your write up and its exactly what’s lacking in christiandom, we need to get real about suffering and that it doesn’t make sense why a loving god would put a rattle snake in his child’s playpen. I do wonder about the purpose of our existence if life is one of up’s and down’s and reading tru the promises in the scriptures does little or nothing to relieve u of the soul’s anguish.
    As at this afternoon my mind was in turmoil and have just made up my mind to give up on religion but just stay focused on God(where can I go away from your spirit psalm 139) You can’t even escape from him! and I am tired of moving from one country to the other. My ONLY QUESTION IS THAT WHY IS HE NOT TELLING THE REASON BEHIND HIS SILENCE? Why allow others to use us their bowling ball? I read the bible and what makes it more difficult is that the promises tends to let you belief that it’s instantaneous; just say the word bang! and its done. Preachers makes you feel its your fault you’re not reaping the benefits of the promises; because you’re not having enough faith, not praying enough or sowing the much needed seeds. I ask did yesternight when will my seeds speaks for me? when? i have done what its prescribed,give to the poor, pay your tithe,sow seeds, first fruits ,pray morning ,noon and mid night, yet i still have challenges about life. it’s like commedy of errors! I just don’t understand !

  • Hello, Victoria. It is my honour and privilege. I am still suffering, too. It’s my birthday tomorrow, and I know none of my family will phone me. I am thinking of relocating to another country on my continent permanently. A small town, by the sea. Just to be alone and away from everything and everyone. I don’t have answers, Victoria. All I can say, is just to put one foot in front of the other. Sometimes our suffering is as a result of us not getting what we want from God when we want it.

  • Happy Birthday Victoria,
    My best friend in Junior High name was Victoria. I know that God will place you in loving places and around loving people…and you know He loves you very much! I ask God for a special blessing on your life.

  • Happy Blessed Birthday Marlyn!!!

    Be encouraged Victoria…when you have done all to stand…stand. Faith is the stuff our hope is made of and your opening up here lets you see that others are suffering and standing just like you. It is our cross to bear. As Paul confidently said, to live is Christ to suffer is Christ to die is gain. He was glad to suffer for righteousness sake. If indeed we are suffering for righteousness how great is our reward in heaven where are treasure is? It’s only for a little while. God is fine tuning you…grooming is never comfortable. The beauty of the after effect is the goal. Read Phil 3:13 and be encouraged.

  • Happy birthday and may the lord smile on you,restore you and draw you to his Arena of love and peace.
    Its a blessing in disguise when I stumbled on this blog and having read all past and current postings ,I

    feel blessed . What am

    seriously in need of are
    friends who have gone tru or still going tru the storms of life to interact with. Irelocated or shoul I say God moved me from a comfortzone to anothercountry since lastyear and since its been tough and very uncomf

  • Lord I’m searching for you in any place I can find.

    I have been betrayed, wrongfully prosecuted, lied on, emotionally and mentally wounded, and I’m tired. But I won’t stop trusting you Lord.

    My job may be on the line just as sure as my health is.. but draw me nearer. I believe and see everyday I’m transitioning into my destiny. Guide my feet Lord and show me the way. Thank you for the grace you’ve provided thus far as well as the lessons and the journey. Thank you for the struggles and for showing me that no matter what happens, you will always be there.

    God bless everyone who left a post that touched my spirit and caused me to sew in tears. I know it won’t be long.

    God bless you all, my brothers and sisters in Christ. Lord bless those who don’t even know your name and those who are in between.

    This prayer is important to me because I want my heavenly father to know, I will never give up on waiting for him no matter the circumstances, simply because he will never give up on me.

    I love you Lord. Please heal the world, amen.

  • Betty I don’t know where you are today in your walk with God ,having read your post I felt a strong pull to write you this and its borne out of love.
    You cannot dictate to God in regards to your marriage by saying you cannot marry an unbeliever maybe you’re to lead him to Christ. By refusing to carry this cross it maybe the reason for the silence. I married a non Christian but since he’s been going strong in the Lord.

  • I am sorry for your loss, I haven’t lost a child to death, however my son told me that he doesn’t want me in his life. He has been struggling with financial problems and alcohol and I told him that I cannot financially support him anymore. So he told me to never talk to him again and that he doesn’t want me in his life. There is a part of mine and my wife’s heart that had been ripped out and God doesn’t seem to be answering our prayers or seem to be involved at all.

  • This was posted so long ago, but here’s a response. My wife died at 50 and left me with our 12 year old son to raise. I was given a book – The Upside of Down and in it, a poem:

    Thank you Lord, for choosing me
    To view your pain at Calvary.
    The tear stained path of grief you share
    with me these days because you care.

    Thank you for the time I’ve cried
    within the garden, by your side.
    “If it be possible for Thee,
    please God, this cup, remove from me.”

    Thank you for the burden I bear,
    for the loneliness and the despair.
    For beneath this cross and on this road,
    I feel in part your heavy load.

    Thank you for the desperate plea,
    “God, why hast Thou forsaken me?”
    “Because,” you answer tenderly,
    “I have a special plan for thee.”

    Thank you for the hope you’ve given,
    for the truth that you have risen.
    I too, from suffering shall rise,
    as I fulfill Your plan so wise.

    Thank you Lord, for letting me say,
    “By grace I’ve suffered in Your way.
    And may I never more depart,
    from this, the center of your heart.

    You will have to get the book to know the author. Accepting the fact that I will never know the why and bending my will to God’s by bending the knee, gave me the Grace to go on. When in heaven, my son, wife and I will look back and know the pain yield multiples of joy and happiness. I hope this helps.

  • Hello,
    I don’t know what it is like to lose a child. I do though know what it like to lose someone that you are extremely close to. I agree that the silence is huge problem for a lot of us. I have been praying for 42+ years and have not seen any of my prayers answered. God’s silence is torture, plain and simple.

    I know this will sound cliche but God bless you, by the Holy Spirit, in Jesus holy name, Amen.

  • im fed up being pulled like a tug of war, beyong god and devil, the lord tested me bent me to the extent broken beyond recognition.that i my self gave up on both either evil or good, so i cut the strings of both and walked my own path but still, i have faith, but the thought of being lost since i was a child till now still lingers in me. now im in neutrality sad but satisfied. i thought my burdens will be lightened by god. hope you find your answers. but for me im tired being tug.

  • Hey man, “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. – Isaiah 40:31

    Just try to relax, I know its hard, but you have to remember that God has a plan for you. Sometimes you have to wait for an answer to get the right one. Remember as a child how you would ask your parents something and they wouldn’t fully answer your question because with time and maturity you can better understand it and see God’s will for you and your child. Hope that helps in some way. And no, I haven’t lost a child but your child is up there with the many family members I have lost waiting for us. In God’s time.
    God Bless.

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Seth Barnes

I'm motivated to join God in his global reclamation project. He's on the move, setting his sons and daughters free from their places of captivity. And he's partnering with those of us who have been freed to go and free others.

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