Andy Stanley believes in coaching. He says, “You will never maximize your potential in any area without coaching. It is impossible… self-evaluation is helpful, but evaluation from someone else is essential. You need a leadership coach.”We need the perspective of other people. They help us perceive reality and they help us realize that we may need to change. We need feedback from someone who understands us and sees where we need to go. So many people are thin-skinned and don’t appreciate feedback. They get stuck in the status quo and close themselves off to the possibility of change. A coach would make all the difference.
“Plans fail for a lack of counselors” says the writer of Proverbs (Prov. 15:22). The best counselors or coaches help us move beyond the need to change and help us figure out how to change. Discipling, when done well, involves a lot of spiritual coaching. Disciplers don’t just lead Bible studies and hang out in coffee shops; they give feedback and challenge behavior according to the 2 Timothy 4:2 model.
Good coaches will encourage us to make time to reflect. They know we need to create the space in life where it’s possible to clearly evaluate the cause and effect of our behavior. Coaches understand that we all need time to take stock of whether or not it’s working for us.
So many people will never realize their dream, not because the dream was impossible, but because they couldn’t make the changes necessary to achieve it. A coach helps you see that not only are your dreams possible, but they help you see the path to realizing them.
One way a coach can help you assess whether or not you are on track to achieve your dreams is to ask you to extrapolate your current path in life out into the future. They can help you answer the question, “Will my current path take me where I want to go?” And if the answer is “no,” If not, a good coach can help you make course corrections.
Do you have a life coach or discipler? Do you trust them? Many of us have never experienced the power of a coach. Our own insecurities have locked us in ruts that aren’t working for us. But we somehow can’t summon up the willpower to make the change. If you’re like 90% of humanity, you simply can’t do it on your own. Human beings tend to do what they’ve always done. If they’re going to change, someone else is going to have to help them.
You may say, “But where will I ever find someone I can trust?” To which I respond, “Do you have a friend you trust?” If you’ve got a friend, then I’d begin by drafting them. Ask them to help you ask questions about your life. Then run your answers to those questions by them and see if they agree. And determine in advance not to be defensive. If you can go through this process with a friend, then a next step might be to ask God to show you where to find someone older and wiser to help you get to the next level in life.
None of us were meant to travel through life as self-reliant as our culture forces us to be here in America. We need the perspective of a coach.
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My favorite quote from our missions training, years ago…
“What you know about yourself, you can change,
What you don’t know about yourself, controls you.”
A life coach, a trusted friend, a counselor, can help us get to where God is leading us!
We all need a coach, mentor and person/s who can be a point of positive encouragement and constructive direction. One of the reasons that there has been such strong support for the national mentoring movement and also things like the National fathering Initiative is that the data makes it clear such a person in your life can make a huge difference.
My grandfather (Por Por) played such a role with me. While not in my life every day his presence loomed.
It still does.
This is exactly what I’m getting ready to do here in Mexico – discipling “20-somethings” and the word “coaching” can, I believe, be synonymous with “discipling.” I have some good men in my life who “coach” me and their input has been invaluable. So what I’m doing is passing it along. My dream is to have a mixed group of Americans and Mexicans – one side learning English while the other masters Spanish – all the while growing together and being discipled. That’s what I’m working on setting up.