Today has been a very hard day for me; for all of us. Maybe one of my darkest days since we have started working here in Swaziland. I feel like packing up and leaving this country. I feel like I am done! Done fighting a loosing, hopeless battle. I am heartbroken, I am speechless, I am so angry. I don’t even now how to share this with you. We live in an ugly world, and I no longer want to be part of this.
My favorite little boy, the cutest little thing I fell in love with in 2007, little Mamba, went missing today and was found dead in the bushes a few hours later. He was only 7 years old.
The cold facts: He was killed by his stepfather. Hung in a tree. Then the stepfather committed suicide.
I don’t understand any of this. It is so unfair! An innocent boy? Why?
Mamba, you crept into my heart that first day at the carepoint. You with your bright amazing smile. You were so cute and chubby (and almost always naked!). We shared many fun moments after that! Playing, sharing candy, laughing. Your face always lit up when you saw me stop at the carepoint. You were the highlight of my visits. You became a legend.
Bye-bye Mr. Mamba! I loved you with all my heart. I am a richer person for knowing you. You have brought me much joy and laughter. I will miss you so much! You were like my own! But I know I will see you again. I am sure you are now with our Heavenly Father, already playing and laughing. No more pain, no more hunger. You are now safe in His arms.
It’s shocking and heart-breaking. This sort of thing happens too often in Swaziland. Jumbo and Kriek and the staff there are standing in the gap for nearly 5000 orphans. They are a demonstration of God’s goodness to those orphans, children who have every reason to give up on hope.
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You have come painfully close to the evidence that we live in a fallen world. Evil done to children I think is the hardest for anyone with a heart to bear. You will need to give this into the Lord’s hands and trust Him to comfort & keep you.
This is however, no reason to throw in the towel. The Lord tells us to pray for God’s will on earth because it is one way we do battle whit what 2Corinthians 4:3-4 refers to as “the god of this world” (But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost: In whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.)
These are the very things that break our heavenly Fathers heart. You are on the front lines and so you will suffer & bear this pain with our Lord. This is an honor (to share His heart & suffer with Him) even though it feels unbearable at times.
I think that there are certain rules in the spiritual realm that God has not fully disclosed to us. I think we will understand in the after life how these “rules” allowed the powers of darkness to do evil and how we can at times counter this with prayers and fasting.
Satan would love for these things to discourage us to the point of surrender, but this we must not do. We will have all the answers we seek in the end but for now Trust God,and go to the tree of life, and not to the tree of knowledge demanding the answers to WHY.
The general answer is that we live in fallen world where many are under the influence and or captives of darkness and many innocents suffer because of this fact. God is in control of all who are submitted to Him, but unfortunately that is not all of us. This is a war, retreating is not an option.
it seems the devil is in practical control.yes he may be. but God is in ABSOLUTE CONTROL. Evil can’t go on forever.
This is an indication of the huge responsibility on the church of our Lord Jesus on earth. We must not allow evil to reign. What are doing with the power given us ( Luke 10 : 19}.
Mr. Mamba is a victim of a clear case of our failed family institution.
I felt so bad for his early departure from the earth. Who knows he could have grown to be a great saviour of his people.
But cut short at his prime.
Let’s wake up. we will not retreat.
That is right…wake up and do not retreat.
Perseverance, faith and courage are necessary in the Kingdom – my prayers to Mamba’s family and to Kriek and those that work with him. May God supernaturally strengthen them.
Thanks, Judith. This was beautiful. And it was encouraging. Thanks for loving well.
Remember that God is in control of ALL things,we don’t understand it all but trust your FATHER WHO IS IN HEAVEN.The bible says we wrestle not with the flesh or blood but against principalities, against powers,against the rulers of the darkness of this age,against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places .Ephesians6:12
Satan would love for you to throw in the towel and give up,don’t give up to him ,stay and fight.I know it hurts and you are sad but hang on to JESUS.Be praying for you.
IN CHRIST
Mary lou
“I don’t know what to say to Kriek. For a lot of people, this is fresh evidence that the universe is a scary place and that God, if he exists, is not in control. They might say, “Curse God and die.” Almost anything you say at this point sounds hollow. I disagree with these people. I believe God exists and is good. But evil men hurting children test my faith.”
The universe is a scary place.
God does exist.
He is in control…ultimately. And He will triumph in the end – not evil.
“For the Lord sits enthroned for ever. He has set up his throne for judgement; he will judge the world with justice…” He will have the final word…this we know.
But…at present, He limits His control. He set these limitations when He created free will. It is my humble opinion that He rarely supersedes these limitations. He abides within the restrictions He has set. Why?
Because to do otherwise would create a disruption of the natural laws that order this world and chaos would result. When I carry out the scenario of God overriding free will, to its logical conclusion (in order to combat evil), chaos is where I arrive (though I’m more than willing to hear out a differing conclusion).
What DOES God do in the face of the unimaginable suffering men have created by their free will?
What HAS He done?
He suffers, suffers, suffers. His heart is broken constantly for this world and for the children of this world, especially.
He comforts. He comes alongside. He intercedes. He is there.
He was there each and every night my father sexually abused me.
Jesus was there and He wept. He wept and He prayed. I “know” this with a deep knowing.
Wow.
Secondly, He overcomes evil by bringing good out of the most horrific circumstances…consistently and constantly. One only need look at Corrie Ten Boom’s trial by fire in the Nazi concentration camps and the shining testimony of her sister who died there: “Tell the world, Corrie, that no matter how deep the pit, God is deeper still.” Another wow.
Of course God’s greatest answer to the evil of this world, created by man’s abuse of free will, was the cross. Wow, again. Speechless when I think that the God of the Universe went to the cross to answer and atone for the world’s evil, from the beginning of time until the end.
My last humble thoughts: When you and Kriek voice agonizing questions and doubts, questioning your faith, you resonate with the unbelieving world. Time and again surveys have shown that this is the #1 challenge for non-believers: the question of suffering!
As believers, we are not worth our salt if we are not honest that we have the same questions and doubts…that our faith is deeply shaken at times by stories such as this child’s. To be any less transparent and vulnerable smacks of being superficial and “always having the answers” to the rest of the world.
You are a dear, Seth.
Keep writing.
Keep sharing.
Most of all, keep feeling deeply for this broken world and those who suffer.
In this, you are like our Father and our Savior and Brother.
Much love,
Judith