Feedback
The elephant in the room was that George was self-centered and sometimes ill-mannered. He didn’t fit in with the rest of his team. At dinner he would get in line for food first. He thought about his own needs before anyone else. He made his team feel uncomfortable, but because he intimidated them…
By Seth Barnes
The elephant in the room was that George was self-centered and sometimes ill-mannered. He didn’t fit in with the rest of his team. At dinner he would get in line for food first. He thought about his own needs before anyone else. He made his team feel uncomfortable, but because he intimidated them, no one would tell him what they really thought about him.
George would never have made it on the World Race where feedback is a regular part of our day. At the outset of the race, each team comes up with team norms that guide behavior on the race. One of the norms we require is feedback.
Our rationale is that you decided to go on the race in large part because you wanted to grow. In order to grow, you need the perspective that others can give you – feedback.
This may be difficult for some to stomach since a lot of people are not used to the idea of soliciting feedback. Especially if you’re insecure, feedback can feel threatening.
But we believe there is greatness locked up in you that will only find expression as you allow others to share with you. We want to see you become more and more who God has made you to be. George needed to know how his selfishness was affecting his team. Their passive/aggressive way was just as broken as was his narcissism.
Feedback gives you the benefit of others’ perception – we need it if we’re to change. We ask: “What are the gifts of the person and how can we encourage them to walk in them more fully?”
Some feedback principles
- Daily. We do team feedback regularly – usually every day. We can’t afford to let things fester.
- Plan. Find a time that works
- Positive. Feedback data may be difficult to swallow, but we help it go down with a little sugar.
- Everyone. No one is exempt. We all need it.
- High courage/high consideration. We don’t hold back, but we’re considerate.
How to do it
- Pray first. Ask God for his perspective. Give feedback one-on-one if possible.
- Check your heart and intent before giving feedback. It should be done in love and truth. You can be angry, frustrated, and hurt and still give feedback graciously.
- “Thank you” is the only appropriate response to feedback. Take feedback for what it is: a gift! If the shoe fits wear it. You do not have to agree with feedback that’s being given but you need to honor those who give it to you.
More of us need feedback. We need to seek it out for the gift that it is. God will use it in our life to grow us if we let him.
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YES!! I’m going add this principle to my mission team training. Everyone needs a yielding heart which requires self-discipline to be purposefully out of control. http://wp.me/pAK6C-6O
Hmm… I agree that feedback is very important. My situation is unique being that I’m the newest member of a team within a culture that is generally non-confrontational and non-communicative (to a certain extent). I’ve asked once or twice for feedback but it doesn’t seem to go anywhere. Something for me to continue to think about, for sure. Thanks for sharing.