One-to-one discipleship is a dying art form
Ask any group of Christians how many of them have been discipled and you won’t see many hands raised. Ask the same group how many are discipling someone and you’ll likely get the same results. What’s going on here? How come the one thing Jesus asked us to do before he left the earth is something we don’t do?
We all want to feel special. The need to be noticed, to count or stand out to one other person is hard-wired in us all. It finds its fullest expression in the relationship between a mom and her infant. The studies show us that it’s not just the simple sucking of breast milk and the nutrition it provides, it’s the physical touch and focused attention of that mother that calls forth the life force within a baby. The baby’s body hungers for the milk; the baby’s soul hungers for the sheer connection with mom.
As we grow and are buffeted by life’s hurts, we hear a conflicting message over and over again, “
You’re not special. You’re ugly and flawed and need to perform in order to be loved.” The message is the same, but we all hear it in a way that feels secret and isolating, as though we’re the only abnormal one, the runt of the litter shunted to the side.
And so, the discipler’s one-on-one meeting is salve to a wounded soul. It works a deep magic over time. It whispers “You’re special to me” in ways that dissolve the lies that have scabbed over the old wounds.
The efficiency expert or the type A-run-amok or the diffident soul will pale at this analysis. They will find reasons to disciple in bigger groups. But only the deep magic of a one-on-one will do.
We are God with skin on. He doesn’t come to us with a one-size fits all message. He touches the tender parts of our innermost being, the private places that we dare not admit to anyone, even ourselves. He comes to us and with the tenderness of a mother, whispers, “You
are special. Don’t believe the lies.”
As God’s representatives, we not only steward His message, but His methods. We don’t whip out the bullhorn to blare the news of another person’s specialness. We come with a personal touch that communicates in ways that words never could.
Committing time and attention to one other person is an act of great bravery. It states, “I will be like God to you. I will show you in ways that you can feel, ways that are your reality, what God thinks about you. It’s what our mother whispered to us, what we knew all along: “
You are special!”
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TILL THE SOIL BEFORE YOU PLANT THE SEED!
This is how a garden grows
As a disciple of Jesus the Christ
Take care BEFORE you sow,
think twice.
Prepare the soil of hearts
Break up the clods with love
water liberally with grace and patience
pull weeds with pearls of wisdom
Do this all on your knees.
From the window of the minds eye
watch His Kingdom take root
Painfully slow at times
but we must not rush
What only God can do.
Seth, Discipling might be a dying art, but not a lost one. Enter Oliver. I met him on Christmas Day 2005 while serving lunch at a homeless shelter. The Lord whispered to me, “Oliver needs to experience me. Will you show him my love?” I grew up with seven brothers so I thought, “Sure. What’s one more?” In less than three months we have become best buds and Oliver has blossomed. All he needed was someone to show him that he mattered. Today,at age 54, he has a job, place of his own, is paying child support and renewing relationships with his children, a driver’s license for the first time in 20 years, a bank account and, best of all, a church home! God has done it all.
I stand corrected on the title! I’ll change it. And what a beautiful example of God moving – thank you for passing along Oliver’s story Maggie. I love it when God whispers and people respond.
I agree with Maggie but I also disagree. It is neither dying or lost. It is an invisible art. Hasn’t it always been limited to a remnant? I am hard pressed to see when it was the dominant role of the church. Is it invisible to protect the true disciplers because it is so threatening to a society or even a church?
But God’s reproductive strategy is very powerful. Much more powerful than the “mass” strategies of the modern world or even the post modern world. People who have a relationship with Christ and also the Father are empowered to transform by “…subduing and ruling…”
At 55, God said to me, a successful business person and academic, “…Bill, I want you to disciple one person a year that I bring to you for the next thirty years. OH by the way, Bill, it will take 5-7 years to create a reproductive disciple who can then also disciple one person a year for thirty years. OH, Bill, they will be ordinary people not extraordinary leadership types (best and the brightest) because God’s miracles are doing extra-ordinary things through ordinary people.” Sorry Bill no leaders. God wants the glory.
Don’t get carried away Bill, I want to limit the number of people to only thirty. Bill, do not get discouraged, I will show you the impact if you truly disciple them into a reproductive relationship with the Father.” (see http://www.spiritual-benchmarks.com and the study on John 12-17)
Then God showed me the power of the “kernal of wheat” grand strategy that Christ outlined in John 12. God said to keep it simple, “assume it is 2027 and you have 30 fully reproductive disciples who are discipling one new person a year. How many disciples will there be in another thirty years or 2057 if the number of new disciples truly doubles every year for a 30 year period.
I calculated that number and fell off my chair. I had to change my paradigm.
I challenge you to calculate the number and you will see the power of the “kernal of wheat” that is so invisible. Start with thirty and double the number thirty times on your calculator.
But these disciples will also do more than just disciple individuals. They are also commanded to disciple institutions and even “NATIONS” according to Matthew 28. Now how does one disciple an institution or a nation??? Good question.
Discipling individuals: transforming attitudes and behavior.
Discipling institutions: re-purposing values, practices and policies.
Discipling nations: creating new institutions with appropriate values, practices, policies and structures when necessary.
See http://www.netscope.com/young professionals.pdf for a more complete description.
Am called Eric, married and a believer in the lord Jesus Christ. Am a leader of Discipleship in my church. I have a heart for discipleship how ever i have been wandering what styles can i use to effectively disciple the believers in my church. I will be glade if am helped by those who know various methods.
From Eric.
Am called Eric, married and a believer in the lord Jesus Christ. Am a leader of Discipleship in my church. I have a heart for discipleship how ever i have been wandering what styles can i use to effectively disciple the believers in my church. I will be glade if am helped by those who know various methods.
From Eric.
Nice piece – I was enlightened by the info . Does someone know where my assistant might be able to get access to a fillable NJ DO-11 document to edit ?
Nice piece – I was enlightened by the info . Does someone know where my assistant might be able to get access to a fillable NJ DO-11 document to edit ?