Are you the kind of person who says, “It’s not my fault,” or do you take responsibility when things go wrong? Our culture teaches us to duck and dodge when you fail in an area you were in charge of. A whole industry of lawyers has formed to help facilitate this process of blame-shifting. By getting a percentage of the money they win in court, these people make a great living for themselves.
Did you spill coffee on yourself and get burned? Probably the restaurant made the coffee too hot. Did the doctor fail to heal you? What better time to enter the medical lottery than by suing him? His insurance company will probably settle out of court.
Did you fail at a work assignment? Probably there were mitigating circumstances that made it difficult for you to succeed in the first place. And subtly, you’ve become a victim, beholden to factors beyond your influence, subject to the vagaries of a world spinning out of control.
As a boss, I find people like this everywhere. Armed with excuses, they shed responsibility like sweat wiped away from an Under Armor t-shirt. And since I can’t hold them accountable for the consequences of their actions, I do everything possible to avoid hiring them in the first place.
Because they make terrible, unproductive employees, you want to help them or get rid of them. Bob Newhart has evolved a sophisticated therapy to help people stuck in the victim trap. Try using his method and see if it doesn’t make a difference in your life.
Get Over It
I turn on the tube and what do I see
A whole lotta people cryin’ ’don’t blame me’
They point their crooked little fingers ar everybody else
Spend all their time feelin’ sorry for themselves
Victim of this, victim of that
Your momma’s too thin; your daddy’s too fat
Get over it
Get over it
All this whinin’ and cryin’ and pitchin’ a fit
Get over it, get over it
You say you haven’t been the same since you had your little crash
But you might feel better if I gave you some cash
The more I think about it, old billy was right
Let’s kill all the lawyers, kill ’em tonight
You don’t want to work, you want to live like a king
But the big, bad world doesn’t owe you a thing
Get over it
Get over it
If you don’t want to play, then you might as well split
Get over it, get over it
It’s like going to confession every time I hear you speak
You’re makin’ the most of your losin’ streak
Some call it sick, but I call it weak
You drag it around like a ball and chain
You wallow in the guilt; you wallow in the pain
You wave it like a flag, you wear it like a crown
Got your mind in the gutter, bringin’ everybody down
Complain about the present and blame it on the past
I’d like to find your inner child and kick it’s little a**
That skit was profoundly ignorant and ill-informed. “Reasoning” with a person who is afflicted by mental illness, particularly in the bullying way portrayed in the skit, isn’t effective because their “reasoning” is broken. You can’t change the way the “facts” add up in their minds to an emotional response because that is wired into their brains. However you can change the “facts” they focus on so that eventually that change in focus may reinforce itself and rewire the brain. Those “social workers”, “counselors” and other supposed professionals who applauded this skit in their comments above need to put in the effort to re-examine the data and assess objectively what interventions are actually effective.
Hahahahahahaa!!! That is awesome! I remember not so long ago, I was digging the victim rut, when my friend Erin politely told me to… well… stop it! and Yes, it changed my life forever.
Do all things without grumbling and complaining! It really does work if you just shut up…or stop it!
I love it!
I love it! Some how as a social worker I don’t think that form of practice would go over well at work. I can’t tell you how many times though I have wanted to say just that. ha ha ….. 🙂
Oh yeah!!! Reminds me of one of my favourite cartoon drawings of two birds standing chatting. One says to the other “I blame all my problems on coming from a broken egg……”
lol Cxx
As a counselor, this is priceless! I never laughed so hard. lol So many people are always on their mind, truly all they need to do is STOP IT! And follow Christ. lol
Great Post Seth
glad you guys liked it. I laugh every time I watch it.
Here in Guatemala doing counseling and already want to use it!
hilarious. i laughed out loud.
Anyone remember an Eagles tune called “Get Over It?” Google the lyrics, and you’ll see what I mean. Thanks for the laugh Seth — we take ourselves way too seriously.
Hahahahahahahha!