"I'm my own worst enemy" is a sad thing to hear. Life is hard enough without having to fight yourself.
But all of us do fight ourselves in different ways. Usually we do so in private. The howls of regret ascending to God's ears rarely happen in public places. They tend to happen behind closed doors at times when the pain of poor decisions can no longer be numbed.
"Oh God, I'm so sorry!" We say in a hundred different ways.
Sensing that people need a modern confessional booth, I wrote a post entitled "God, I am sorry" in May of 2009. Since then, 245 people have gone into that confessional booth and commented, writing their prayers of regret. Some examples:
"Oh God, please forgive me of the cheating that I have done and the people that I have hurt with my cheating."
"God, I know you have seen what I have Done. It is an unspeekable thing. Please forgive me."
"I'm a great sinner…. I do, what I do not want to do. And I don't do what I wan't to do. I'm a half hearted creature."
"I'm sorry god for looking at porn please lord forgive me. Please can everyone pray for me to stop. I don't enjoy it."
Life is hard. We do the things we don't want to do and then live with the consequences. The enemy of our soul comes along in the aftermath of our regret and pokes a stick in the wound. He sends us tormenters to whisper thoughts of shame and self-condemnation.
We know we were made for better things, but our wheels spin in the muddy reality of a world that doesn't work, that seems cruel. And the person we hate the most is ourselves.
Can you relate? Are there things in your life that make you feel like you're your own worst enemy? Where do you go with your struggle?
This is a scary topic. Just the thought of telling others what WE do behind closed doors is terrifying!
I think most of us go to no one because we are too scared of being “exposed”, and yet EXPOSURE is part of the process to loosen Satan’s grip. It is so hard to find people you can trust.
We believe the lie that everyone is like we hear every day: “Hi, how ya doing? “Great, and you?”. “Really good…” BUT WE ARE NOT DOING REALLY GREAT. WE ARE NOT DOING REALLY GOOD!
“Oh Jesus, we need you to come and break down the phony stuff. Come in your power Holy Spirit and make us real…”
“Where are those safe places?” is on every one’s heart. We must create safe places with a few who are under our discipleship. WE MUST BE AUTHENTIC to move forward in his grace, love and power.
Oh how we need God to move in our hearts, our homes, and our nation.
“GOD, WE CRY OUT TO YOU – COME DELIVER US AND SET US FREE!”
may I know what CA Christian group you belong?
Hi Edward. So sorry, I’m not sure what “CA” means! I run a non-profit (Wipe Every Tear) dedicated to rescuing girls from the sex trade in the Philippines. We are headquartered here in Boise, Idaho.
Great topic and one God has been talking to me about recently. Some of the things has really challenged me with:
Why do I show alot more grace to others than I do myself if I mess up? Why am I not so quick to forgive myself even after the Lord has forgiven me? Why do I not accept the TRUTH that God loves my company, He loves all the small details about me, how I laugh, how I sit like a pixie, crossed legged reading my bible, how I burst into song all the time, how I cry and is moved by things others arent….so many things to list.
Even after all these years, Im still learning to love myself as God loves me. Its not easy, but a great lesson to learn