Most people have a hard time with reality. They are victims whining about it. They are neurotics coping with it in abnormal ways. They are OCD, trying to control it. They are idealists trying to redefine what should be.
For all these people I have a saying that an accountant taught me that will help: It is what it is.
Say it with me, people, “It is what it is.”
That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t try to work hard to change reality. It doesn’t mean that we’re cynical or defeatist about how we deal with it. Reality is just our starting place.
Now of course there is the spiritual reality that may be at odds with what we see. We are not being Pollyannish to say:
“We call things that are not, as though they were.” or
“I’m a new creation in Christ. Behold all things are made new.”
But we’ve got to get out of this hamster cage that we lock ourselves in as we respond to reality with denial, anger, and escapism. Pain needs to be dealt with; it can’t be pushed down or made to disappear. It’s like a beach ball that when pushed under the water will pop back up.
Pain is part of life. It comes at us from all directions. When we feel something beyond our control that seems wrong, broken, unjust or impossible, we have to look at the pain and deal with reality. The pain is what it is. Acknowledging it is the first step to transforming it.
The suffering we feel may not have an explanation, but it is real. No amount of suppressing or redefinition will make it right. But we can start down a path toward healing if we’ll deal with it. And while we may not be able to eliminate it, if we do not transform our pain, we will surely transmit it.
No one can go back in time to undo the abuse you may have suffered as a child. And yes, your daddy probably didn’t love you the way he should have. You’ve not been loved the way you deserved. You’ve not been appreciated by the very people who should appreciate you.
It’s a broken world, it is what it is. Let’s accept that, and move on to a place of redemption.
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Good post.
One thing I share with my clients (I’m a social worker) is that time cannot be redeemed. You cannot go back and relive it differently. For the most part, I don’t even entertain the idea of “what would you do if you could go back?” because it hinders going forward. There are some things over which we have no control, but there comes a time when we have to trust Jesus Christ to unearth the things that cause pain and essentially keep us from being conformed to His image.
It is what it is… great post, Seth…
No One but Jesus can go back and heal the abuse and hurts we have experienced as children. I am grateful that He can and does come into those memories, when we ask Him and heal the hurts that can still affects us. So if any of you have pain from your past, you just can’t seem to get beyond, I urge you to close your eyes and ask Jesus to come and heal those hurts and memories, He does and will if we ask and allow Him access.
We have everything we need to live the “abundant life” here and now, why wait until we get to heaven??
Jesus is enough.
A thousand miles lie between those in pain and others who look away. Pain can be described but never fully grasped, and even though it is a very unwelcome guest, eventually it will come for a visit.
Thank you for your sensitivity.
“Life will sooner or later show its claws.” -Anton Chekhov
My favourite cartoon drawing is of two birds. One says to the other “I blame all my problems on coming from a broken egg.” :)))
Interesting post here Seth. Redemption doesn’t mean everything will be alright. It means something good can be turned around out of something bad, but it doesn’t stop the bad. I think somewhere in there we all still yearn for the fairytale of Eden. The place where bad things didn’t happen, sin was not around and pain was not a part of life.
I think the natural bent to deny it, want to fix it all the time, push it away and find some better thing, that all comes from our roots in Eden. We weren’t made for this and we know it. The end of time is when God says “enough!” and there is no more crying, pain or death or mourning. This is the old order of things and thank God, it will pass away.
But not yet.
So we have to get on with it, face it and live in it till that “enough” comes. Denial just makes that harder to do. You’re so right. It is what it is.
Yep, pain is real and you said it Seth..alot of the world is out there whining about it. I’m not as quick to say.time to get on..because losing Sarah, was and is very difficult. Just like anything, the closer the person or situation is to a person it is sometimes harder to get to that point of acceptance, but must agree with you. This is real and with God all things take their place in our lives and we can become better or bitter. I really appreciated all of these comments. Seth, many friends are telling me they are reading your posts, so thank you for letting God use you. Blessings..Minnesota may have 65 degree weather..goodbye snowmen! Yeah spring time!
Great post Seth! I think to many times we try to fix the pain with temporary solutions rather than remember we’re NOT in control and only Jesus can heal the pain. We try to mix Christianity with worldly solutions that only mask the pain. Thanks for the reminder that real healing only comes from redemption.
This was a timely late morning devotional and called into my internal conversation the whole issue of grief and the seasons for sadness. Our family has as you know the ongoing grief associated with a genetic illness. It is a lifetime killer of families in various ways. And uncertainty for those you love create open wounds you just bandage even as you plead with the Living God for them to close. There can be “peace” and eternal “joy” but for the tribe of the afflicted it is dificult to be stoic. The real devil in the midst of it all is the temptation to medicate pain away. We do that in a variety of ways. And it prevents the flushing and antiseptic graces from tending like a balm to the blistered soul.
Jeremiah was a “weeping prophet”. Probably miserable to be around.
I guess he had a calling to be terminally sad.
This was a provocative post for me.
Shalom.
funny… I had someone say those exact words “it is what it is” to me last week… hum, maybe God is saying something. I like this blog.
Like Morgan above I have had this said to me several times over the past six months or so. “It is what it is.” I said it out loud above, as you asked us.
It is what it is.
What stood out for me is “The suffering we feel may not have an explanation, but it is real. No amount of suppressing or redefinition will make it right.” Accepting feelings without a need to explain them is freeing and makes it simpler to move forward.
Simpler, but not necessarily easier.
Thanks so much.
great post seth. thank you.